AHEIAID Chapter 6: Humans Are Just Too Cute, Aren’t They?
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Joey watched as his future lousy owner got closer and closer.
Finally, when the other party stopped about four meters away, he began taking small steps forward, pausing every few seconds to observe Joey's expression with his cold, god-like European features.
For some reason, it felt just like when a human encounters a stray cat in the wild and keeps hesitating, trying to get close for a pet.
And now, he was that cat.
Tsk, tsk.
How interesting.
Joey cleared his throat and lifted his chin, trying his best to imitate the haughty demeanor of a noble feline, displaying the dignified and untouchable aura of a ‘national treasure.’
Come on, you foolish, lousy owner~
This great human is allowing you to touch my noble chubby belly! Humph~
The system had originally been watching the show in amusement, but when it casually scanned the stats of the handsome man in front of them, it suddenly blurted out in panic:
"Holy sh*t!"
In Joey’s mind, the system buzzed frantically:
"Host, stop showing off! I just scanned this guy's body data, and while he looks calm and relaxed, every muscle in his body is in the optimal attack state!
"If you even show the slightest hint of aggression, he’ll probably take you out on the spot!"
Hearing this, the last remaining ‘noble and aloof’ human in the universe froze completely.
He swallowed dryly, his black eyes nervously darting toward the incredibly handsome yet dangerous man in front of him.
"R-Really…?"
"Of course! This guy is off-the-charts dangerous! His threat level is all marked as High-Risk S!"
"..."
Joey didn’t know what an S-level meant exactly, but he sure as hell understood the words "high risk."
Staring at the approaching alien man, Joey’s hackles raised in alarm.
These Ottoman people wouldn’t just zap him the moment he moved, would they?
Meanwhile, Garius Heine continued approaching while carefully observing the wild human’s reactions. The moment he noticed the human’s wariness, he immediately stopped in his tracks.
The two assistants behind him remained stern-faced but were secretly worried.
Of course, they weren’t concerned about their terrifyingly powerful boss—after all, even if the human bit him, it wouldn’t matter. They had all been vaccinated before coming here.
What they were afraid of was that their boss might be too ruthless and accidentally kill the human if it tried to fight back!
"Sir, perhaps we should handle this instead…"
One assistant tentatively suggested in a low voice.
"No need."
Garius raised a hand, signaling them to be silent.
His golden-green eyes, polished like precious cat’s-eye gemstones, gazed coldly at the small human. Through its evasive dark eyes and subtle micro-expressions, he gathered the information he wanted.
Garius Heine, heir of the Heine family.
Known as the Empire’s divine force, the embodiment of absolute rationality.
He had no fanatical interest in humans like scientists and biologists did, nor did he adore them like the general public. He only took over the responsibility of managing this human because it fell under the jurisdiction of Zone 13.
When the human was first discovered, it was wearing fiber clothes produced by an industrial civilization—something wild species wouldn’t be able to create.
Later, when Zone 13’s investigators went to Earth, they found no other wild humans.
So how did this one appear?
And why did it appear precisely during the Ottoman Empire’s Origin Star Exploration Live Broadcast?
The emergence of this old human was shrouded in mystery.
They needed to determine if it was an artificial creation from another planet, a part of some conspiracy against the Ottoman Empire. Until its safety was confirmed, Garius wouldn’t allow anyone to take the human away from Zone 13.
If any signs of danger were detected, he would immediately order its destruction.
Recalling the previous medical report that showed this human had an extremely weak physique, poor adaptability, and an immune system as fragile as glass—its intelligence even matched that of a six-year-old Ottoman child—
The cold man hesitated for a moment, then gracefully took a disinfected bowl of food from his assistant and knelt elegantly on one knee.
His eyes locked onto Joey’s, and he tapped the edge of the bowl lightly with his fingers.
"Tap, tap."
The soft but firm sound caught Joey’s attention.
Then, with his neck shrinking in alarm, Joey watched as the extremely dangerous yet ethereal-looking handsome man’s face softened just the tiniest bit—only a tiny, tiny bit—before clicking his tongue at him twice.
"Tsk, tsk."
Joey: …
The system was just about to explain what this meant when Joey cut it off.
"No need, I get it."
"Eh? How do you know?" The system was surprised.
Joey was silent for three seconds before saying:
"In the countryside, my mom used to feed pigs like this."
Though she’d say "Loo-loo-loo-loo" instead.
System: … Pfft!
Joey’s forehead twitched as he stared at the clearly dog-food-bowl-shaped container the other man was trying so hard to use to feed him.
Damn it, this was obviously a dog bowl!
But the system quickly calmed him down:
"Relax, host… Just endure it. Remember, you can’t beat him, and we still need him to take us back."
"Just play along, act cute—it’s that simple."
"Stay cool. You must stay cool!"
Joey had to admit that the system was right. Adjusting his expression, he muttered:
"Psh, of course, I know that… Playing cute to survive? Who doesn’t know how to do that? Watch me demonstrate the ultimate skills of a ten-year veteran of harem anime!"
"Hehe, go host! You got this!"
The system cheered him on inside his head, giving a live commentary.
"Our super otaku is putting his feet on the ground—he’s standing up!"
Joey, with a straight face, took slow steps toward the crouching Garius.
"He’s getting closer—closer!"
One step, two steps—getting closer, Joey crouched down under the piercing gaze of those icy golden-green eyes.
"Ohhh! The host is going in! Go, host, go!"
Then, Joey reached out with a trembling hand and placed it on the other man's long, cold-white fingers.
"Charge, host—chargeee!"
And then, Joey pursed his lips, stared at the man’s face, and—within three seconds—his entire face turned red from his neck to his ears. Stammering, he ‘bravely’ stroked the other’s hand and mumbled:
"U-um… s-snuggle… s-snuggle…"
Garius: ?
System: … You’re a little wimp, you know that?
…
A human’s hand was very small.
It was cool to the touch, impossibly soft.
There were no calluses on the fingertips, no hardened nails or beast-like barbs capable of sinking into flesh—it was so weak, so utterly defenseless, as if it were saying, "I’m fragile, please don’t squeeze me too hard."
Garius, who had never had anyone approach him so easily, was momentarily surprised.
And then, when Joey nervously placed his own blushing face against Garius’ hand and stiffly muttered:
"Snuggle, snuggle…"
Garius: "…"
Assistants A & B: Holy sht! Humans are too fcking cute!!!
T/N: Please give support on my ko-fi page, thank you🍊🍊🍊
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