AHEIAID Chapter 26: No Swan, Only Garius Heine
| Previous | Table of Contents | Next |
The butler had just finished his tasks for the time being.
Relaxing in his room, he enjoyed some biscuits and black tea, preparing to video call his family—
When suddenly, his communicator pinged with an incoming call.
From his master.
Lucian paused for a brief moment, slightly surprised.
But he quickly put down his tea and answered.
"Hello, Lord Heine. Has something happened?"
A few seconds of silence followed.
Lucian frowned slightly and asked again, but this time—
His master finally spoke.
"Lucian."
"Yes, my lord, I’m here."
On the other end of the call, Garius pressed his lips together, staring at the trembling back of his little human.
He opened his mouth, closed it again—
Hesitated several times before finally speaking rapidly and in a low voice.
He recounted everything that had happened from the moment they left the estate until now.
And then, he concluded with one sentence—
"Joey is crying."
Lucian blinked at his communicator.
"…So… you're calling me for help because you don’t know what to do?"
The man known as the Empire’s Rational God, usually calm and composed, looked like he was facing an earth-shattering crisis—
Or conducting some kind of high-stakes undercover mission.
His voice was grave. Serious. Extremely serious.
And then, he confirmed it.
"Yes."
A rare sight: The Heine Family in Panic.
Lucian barely held back his laughter.
"Is he still crying?"
Garius let out a low "Mm."
His sharp gaze remained fixed on his little pet’s hunched figure in the distance.
His hand tightened around the communicator.
Lucian sighed. "Then what are you waiting for?"
Garius: ?
Lucian: "Go comfort him."
Garius: "…"
At that moment—
Lucian finally couldn't hold back his laughter.
He heard it.
The subtle confusion and panic that his master was desperately trying to suppress.
Unbelievable.
Hilarious.
And yet, strangely… nostalgic.
"Oh, dear God."
Lucian recalled something.
A similar conversation from years ago.
Back then, the previous Lord Heine had also called him out of the blue—
With the exact same serious tone, as if the entire planet was about to explode.
"Lucian, Sophie is ignoring me. What should I do?"
Lucian smirked.
Ah.
He remembered exactly how he had answered back then.
And this time?
He stretched out his words teasingly—
"My lord, surely you haven't forgotten that 'comforting' is an option, have you~?"
Silence.
Long.
Heavy.
Embarrassed.
Garius: "…"
Lucian grinned.
Even the great Heine family had learned how to panic over love.
Joey held it in, held it in, and in the end, just let go and sat on the ground howling.
He thought, Anyway, my pooper-scooper (owner) is destined to never love me. Even if I cry to death, he won’t come back. And if he won’t come back, he won’t see me cry. So why shouldn’t I cry?
Damn it, I’ll cry!
“You scumbag, beast, heartless bastard!”
“All because I didn’t let you kiss me? All because I didn’t let you touch me? And you abandoned me—me, a delicate young maiden, cough, I mean, a dignified man! Just because you kept kissing and rubbing me all over! Even if I’m not human in your eyes, I still have hardware! I also have X functions! I’m a proud face-con, can’t I at least let my face harden slightly to show my respect for yours? Huh?!”
“Wuuu…”
“I’ll cry so much today that the entire manor collapses! Let’s see how you, you heartless bastard, will come back then!”
Joey, who had transitioned from sorrow to pure rage at his dad, bit his upper lip and bared his teeth, crying with all his might, getting more and more into it, more and more carried away.
He wished he could cry himself blind to light up the whole world!
So when someone suddenly patted his shoulder from behind, Joey was still too immersed in his grief to react. He just stayed in that posture, sniffling the two streams of snot running from his nose, his thin eyelids red and swollen. When he lifted his head, his eyes, like Ultraman Tiga’s glowing lightbulb eyes infected with conjunctivitis, glared viciously behind him.
Joey: 0皿0 Who the hell? Looking for death?!
And then, he saw a familiar face—the one that made him go slightly hard out of respect—his dad’s godly visage.
Joey: …
=A=
Hissss—
Uh, um, director? Director—! Can I request a retake? Yeah, best if we can AI-edit my face, please Photoshop my Ultraman lightbulb eyes, I’m begging you, wuwuwu.
Joey froze for a second, then frantically covered his ugly face with his hands. Through the gaps between his fingers, he peeked at his dad’s face—still perfect, frowning ever so slightly but still a million times better looking than him. The contrast made him suffocate with self-doubt. His shoulders hunched, and he stammered:
“...Ga-Garius…”
Ahhhhh——
Crap, did I just spout all that nonsense in Ottoman's languange? Did he hear everything?!
Dad, dad, let me explain ahhh!!!
“Joey.”
While Joey’s brain was still crashing, Garius reached out, pressing his hand against Joey’s paw, forcefully pulling it away, exposing the tear-streaked face beneath.
“D-Don’t look at my face.” It’s too ugly…
Joey spoke in Ottomans, trying to cover up again.
But whenever he covered, Garius pulled his hands away. He covered again, Garius pulled them away again. In the end, both his little paws were firmly held in one big hand. Feeling utterly ashamed, Joey could only lower his head as much as possible, wishing he could bury his whole skull into his chest.
As if he saw right through his little pet’s heart, Garius suddenly said:
“You’re not ugly.”
“You’re very cute.”
Joey, who had braced himself for scolding, for being despised, flinched at Garius’ words, tightly shutting his eyes. But instead of hearing anything hurtful, he heard something that made him think his ears were malfunctioning.
He looked up blankly at Garius.
And Garius, using his other hand, wiped away the tears—and even the snot—on his face, then crouched down, leaning in close to Joey. His half-lidded golden-green eyes gazed at the little pet’s red nose as he softly said—
“(Hug hug~).” (贴贴: A Chinese internet slang term for rubbing cheeks affectionately, like a snuggle or nuzzle.)
“………………”
At that moment, Joey almost started crying again.
His big, round black eyes widened in shock, afraid that his brain was hallucinating or that the person in front of him had been replaced by someone else.
But no.
His dad was still as perfect as a god, with his sharp nose bridge, deep eye sockets, an aura as noble as the frozen winter, and golden hair slicked back, cascading over his shoulder in loose curls that fell onto his chest… Everything about him shimmered in Joey’s eyes, as if filtered with glowing light, his cold white skin practically radiating!
After his initial shock, Joey murmured:
I’m cute? But I’m obviously ugly.
All of you Ottomans look like celestial beings. I have nothing. I don’t even have a face to compete with… I’m just a toad dreaming of eating swan meat…
Joey grinned. “I’m a toad. Do you know what a toad is? It’s uglier than a frog, something doomed to never become a frog prince.”
He didn’t know the Ottomans word for toad, so he said it in his Earth language.
“You definitely don’t know what kind of thoughts I have about you. If you did, you’d probably be so disgusted that you’d send me to a zoo or a museum overnight, never wanting me again.”
“Heh, eat swan meat? I can’t even fly, what swan meat am I eating…”
… The cruel words stabbed at his chest, torturing the foolish heart inside. The more it hurt, the better. Ignore the bloody wounds, find a twisted relief in self-destruction.
He knew Garius wouldn’t understand.
To kill his own hope, he laid his soul bare before the man he adored, exposing it down to the rawest, bloodiest bones.
“Tell me, am I a freak? What are you and I, huh? Ha! A human-beast romance!”
“Who the hell wants to sleep with their pet? Who the hell wants that? Huh?!”
“Once I finish my mission, I’ll go home, back to being a shut-in, back to my normal life. We’ll never see each other again, I’ll never see you again…”
See?
Joey smiled brightly at Garius.
Look how happy I am.
Garius quietly listened to the little human’s rambling, gazing at the smiling face that was still so adorably cute, but he didn’t smile back.
Joey waited until his face started stiffening, but still, Garius didn’t smile.
Finally, unable to stand the silence, Joey called out: “Garius?”
Garius responded with a soft hmm.
“Um… heh, heh heh…”
“Eat this.”
“What—”
Garius, crouching in front of the now-frozen human, reached out and cupped his soft face, his fingers sinking into the small curls he had long wanted to touch, his thumb rubbing against the swollen eyelids. Then, in Chinese, he repeated:
“Eat this.”
I am not a swan, but I am willing to fulfill your wish.
T/N: Please give support on my ko-fi page, thank you🍊🍊🍊
Comments
Post a Comment