AHEIAID Chapter 25: Pushing Away What I Can’t Bear to Lose, Reaching for What I’m Not Qualified to Have
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Being kicked out of the house made Joey a little panicked.
Dressed in a tailored white dress shirt with suspenders, a black bow tie neatly fastened around his neck, he carefully glanced at the side profile of Garius, who walked beside him, his expression icy cold.
"Um… Garius…"
Where are we going?
Joey asked in a small voice.
Apart from the estate and District 13, he had nowhere else to go. He didn’t even know which way was which after stepping out of the front gate, let alone being able to speak fluent Ottomans.
Feeling lost, he instinctively moved closer to his "daddy," seeking comfort—
But just as he took two steps in Garius’ direction, the man, who had paused for a moment at the doorway, turned and walked away—
Without even looking at him.
Joey: "…"
His big, black eyes dulled.
His small fingers, hanging at his sides, gripped the fabric of his pants, pinching at it anxiously.
He hesitated.
Should he follow or not?
If he followed, would he be annoying?
If he didn’t… Where else could he go?
Behind him, the grand mansion, illuminated from within, stood tall and imposing. But the darkness beyond it felt cold and unfamiliar—almost threatening in its vast emptiness.
Meanwhile, the tall, golden-haired figure ahead of him walked farther and farther away.
Joey panicked.
He ran.
His short legs scrambled to keep up, but Garius’ long strides easily left him far behind.
The more he chased, the hotter his face became. Sweat dampened his forehead, but the real discomfort came from the tightness in his chest.
His nose stung. His eyes burned.
Suppressing the lump in his throat, Joey picked up his pace and finally caught up—
"Garius! Garius!"
Wait for me!
I haven’t caught up yet!
Joey forced a bright grin, stretched out his hand, and finally—
Stuffed his little paw into the man’s big, cold palm.
…But before he could even breathe a sigh of relief—
That cool hand let go.
Joey’s half-raised smile froze.
His footsteps gradually slowed.
Until he stopped completely.
He could only watch as Garius’ figure grew smaller and smaller.
Until finally—
He disappeared beneath the streetlights.
Gone.
A faint red crept into Joey’s eyes.
He quickly rubbed his arm across his face, sniffed hard, and forced a bright smile.
In an attempt to break the awkwardness, he mumbled to himself:
"It’s fine, it’s fine. I’ll just go home. Besides, the banquet is full of strangers anyway—yeah, for someone like me, a social recluse, home is the best place to be."
But the moment he turned toward the mansion—
He found himself unable to move his legs.
The estate was beautiful.
It was luxurious.
But if Garius didn’t want him anymore…
Could he really shamelessly go back?
[Host…]
A hesitant voice sounded in his mind.
Joey, who had forgotten the system still existed in his brain, snapped out of it and quickly plastered on a smile.
"I’m fine! Ha—what’s a little fight, right—"
[Uh… I just wanted to tell you that his favorability just dropped by one point. It’s now 58.]
Joey: "……"
The system, caught in the eerie silence and awkward tension, panicked, unsure of how to comfort Joey. It blurted out stiffly:
[Um, it’s fine, Host! You were always afraid of his favorability increasing, weren’t you? So this is actually a good thing, right? Haha, and besides—]
"System."
[I’m here, Host!]
"Can you… not look at me for a bit? Just block me out temporarily."
[I mean, I can, but…]
"Just for a moment. Thanks."
[…]
The voice in his mind fell silent.
With no more system notifications, the composure Joey had been clinging to crumbled completely within a minute. He squatted down, poking idly at the small flowers on the ground.
"Heh… So the poop scooper really is mad at me."
"But what can I do? I really, really want to go home—to the place I know."
"How long can love last? Especially in a future where I’m not even… ‘human’?"
"Don’t you think so?"
"Did I… do something wrong?"
As Joey kept poking at the flowers, his lips pressed into a thin line. His gaze, locked onto the tiny blossoms in the grass, became hazy—
A misty veil of tears blurring his vision.
On the outside, Joey’s heart was like a coconut shell—rough, tough, and unyielding.
But inside?
Far too soft.
The truth was, he had no sense of security.
The cheerful, joking homebody had always been deeply self-conscious.
Back on Earth, whenever he went outside, he would shrink himself as much as possible—tucking in his arms and legs, keeping his head low, burying himself behind headphones and a mask.
He barely spoke, voice small and careful—
"Excuse me, can I pass?"
"Thank you."
"Sorry to bother you."
He never dared to meet people’s eyes. Never dared to exist too loudly in their world.
As if being around too many people would make him break out in hives.
Garius’ closeness made Joey feel both happy and terrified.
He couldn’t understand it.
How could someone like Garius—a man so high-ranking, so cold, so noble—
Possibly like someone like him?
Was it just a novelty?
Was he just a pet to him?
Just a favored creature, loved like family?
Fairy tale endings only existed for white horses and princesses.
And Joey knew better than to believe in the three great self-delusions of life:
"He likes me too."
Most of the time, it was just wishful thinking.
Reading too much into things.
Falling into delusions.
But in the end…
I’m an emotional idiot.
I’m a shallow fool who’s weak to good looks.
I’m a clueless moron who’s never been treated well enough to tell the difference between affection, rationality, and pet love.
So if you keep coming closer…
What if I really fall for you?
What if I can’t leave you anymore?
What am I supposed to do then?
Joey bit down hard, swallowing his sobs as he crouched at the gates of the estate.
But no matter how much he held it back—
His tears still hit the ground.
He hated himself for pulling away when he didn’t want to.
He hated himself for wanting to reach out when he had no right to.
And in the end—
He sucked on that tiny, bittersweet sliver of hope, like a piece of candy buried in broken glass.
Even though he was already past the age of believing in fairytale love,
Here he was—
A pathetic mess, squatting on the ground, ugly-crying over an impossible relationship.
His eyes red, Joey choked out:
"Damn it… I’m such an idiot!"
Do you need a man to survive?!
What the hell are you crying for?!
You haven’t even gotten together yet, and you’re already mourning a breakup! You might just be the most pathetic idiot in history!
As Joey viciously scolded himself, wiping at his face in a messy, desperate attempt to erase his tears—
A figure stood quietly in the distance.
Garius.
Watching him.
Yes, Garius was angry.
How could he not be?
He had already lowered his pride, bared his heart, admitted his feelings, and asked:
"Do you hate me?"
And Joey had responded with silence.
That silence—a silent confirmation.
That stung.
And it wasn’t just about a pet anymore.
Joey was no longer just a rare little beast he kept at his side.
Somewhere along the way, he had become important.
So important, that Garius had even challenged his own beliefs—
Changing "it" to "him."
Letting down his icy walls.
Opening up his heart.
Granting trust and affection.
And because he had taken this seriously, because he had started treating their bond as something real, he could not forgive Joey for turning away so easily.
"Maybe I should teach him a lesson. Make him understand what it means to cherish something."
So Garius had done what he never did.
He didn’t hold his hand.
He didn’t wait for him.
For the first time, he walked ahead alone—not once looking back at the little creature who always trailed behind him.
He made it all the way to the aircraft hangar, where his personal flyer waited—
And stood there.
One minute passed.
Five minutes passed.
Ten minutes passed.
Still, that little fool had not shown up.
Did he throw a tantrum?
Was he secretly happy that he didn’t have to come along?
Had he gone back inside the mansion, perfectly content to stay away?
Garius’ handsome face darkened, brows furrowing.
A rare ember of anger burned in his normally calm, indifferent chest.
Lips pressed into a thin line, he turned around with long, quick strides, prepared to drag that little brat out and teach him a lesson—
Then he saw it.
A small, huddled figure—
Crouched on the ground, crying.
Sobbing his name.
Like a lost child who couldn’t find his way home.
T/N: Please give support on my ko-fi page, thank you🍊🍊🍊
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