AHEIAID Chapter 19: What the Hell, Where’s My Everyday Life?
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Before he transmigrated, as an ordinary small fry, Joey never imagined that one day, he would wake up in a soft bed bathed in morning sunlight.
He never thought he’d wake up to the scent of wind carrying the fragrance of grass and flowers from the distant mountains.
Or that a handsome attendant would gently call his name, help him dress, and that, finally, a golden-haired Nordic god-like man would personally comb through his fluffy black curls, pressing a kiss to his forehead with a deep, elegant voice—like the lingering tremble of a harp—whispering, "Joey."
Still drowsy, Joey yawned and instinctively opened his arms. The poop-shoveler—er, Garius—scooped him up without question, carried him to the bathroom, and then to the dining room.
He didn’t even have to tie his own napkin. All he had to do was sit obediently on Garius’ lap, give him a cat-like affectionate rub before breakfast, then pout and plant a quick kiss near the corner of the man’s upturned lips.
And just like that, the esteemed and powerful District Inspector personally fed him fresh fruit juice, spooning up warm meat broth and bringing it to his lips one spoonful at a time.
Sigh, life was just too...
[Too corrupt!]
The system looked at Joey like a parent scolding a disappointing child.
[Do you still remember your grand ambitions?! Weren’t you supposed to be raising favorability points?!]
“It’s not like I’m not trying.”
Joey, still groggy and nodding off, was holding Garius’ hand as they boarded a small starship headed for District 13. He yawned and mumbled, “Isn’t my dad’s favorability score still going up? It’s at 29 now.”
[It is increasing, sure, but you’re still miles away from the point where he’d fulfill your every request without question! The full score is 100—you haven’t even hit the passing line yet! Do you still want to go home or not?]
Joey blinked, thought for a moment, and said, “Now that you mention it… I kinda don’t.”
[...]
Joey started listing, “Look, I live in a luxurious estate, eat gourmet meals prepared by top nutritionists, and sleep in the arms of the most powerful man in the empire. I’m holding onto a golden thigh… Hmm, the more I think about it, the more I feel like this place isn’t so bad.”
[...]
Hearing the system sputter in his mind like it was glitching, Joey couldn’t hold back his laughter. “Hahaha, I’m messing with you! Of course, I want to go home! No matter how nice it is here, it’s not my real home.”
After all, as the old saying goes: A golden nest or a silver nest is no better than your own doghouse. His parents were still waiting for him to take care of them in their old age.
And besides… he couldn’t possibly stay a pet for Garius forever, right?
He was a human, not a real cat or dog.
[Then hurry up and raise his favorability! We’re bound together—if you succeed, I complete my mission too...]
"OJBK!"
The System’s words sent Joey into deep thought.
To be honest, he knew he wasn’t exactly a genius strategist.
Those endless tricks concubines used to win the Emperor’s favor, the cunning schemes protagonists employed to gain the trust of villains—none of that was his forte.
He even imagined himself in a classic overbearing CEO drama scenario: Danger approaches! I shield Garius with my own body! Oh no, I’m injured! Then Gallius holds me tenderly, realizing in that moment—so he was the one who truly cared for me all along! In a fit of rage, he annihilates his enemies, and his favorability toward me skyrockets like crazy...
Tssss—
Joey’s toes curled in secondhand embarrassment, and he shuddered.
Garius, with his solemn and indifferent face, looked like a divine judge—give him a pair of wings and a holy book, and he’d practically be able to deliver salvation to all! But if he had to pair that with over-the-top CEO-style dialogue...?
Eugh. Absolutely ridiculous. It’d be way too jarring. No way, no way.
But... if not that, then how was he supposed to earn his poop-shoveler’s favor?
He was just a pet—he couldn’t exactly sell his body, right? Even if he dared to, Garius wouldn’t even want it!
Sigh, what a headache.
As he pondered, Joey stepped onto the plush carpet of Garius’ office, retrieved a chilled fruit juice from the built-in mini-fridge, and flopped onto the oversized pet waterbed. Grabbing the latest communicator, he started watching Ottoman cartoons, laughing like an absolute fool.
Between bursts of laughter, he occasionally remembered his mission and sighed, Ugh, how do I become my poop-shoveler’s one and only favorite?
Meanwhile, Amon glanced at the ever-growing pile of pet products—completely out of place in this otherwise intimidating office—and twitched at the corner of his mouth. "Boss, those human-use items are…?"
Garius lifted his gaze, glanced over briefly, and said flatly, "I bought them for Joey."
Of course, I know you bought them!
Otherwise, who in their right mind would dare put pink toys and waterbeds in the heart of District 13’s supreme command center?!
Amon took a deep breath and forced a professional smile. "Uh, but… why exactly did you buy so many?"
Garius: "Because Joey gets bored."
Amon: "…But, but don’t you think—" Don’t you think the pile is getting a little out of control?! It’s almost reaching the door!
Before he could finish, Joey, lying comfortably on his pet bed, suddenly found a funny video and burst out laughing in a bizarre ‘guh-guh-guh’ sound. His laughter echoed throughout the normally solemn office.
And instead of being annoyed, Garius chuckled along with him.
That terrifying face—capable of making hardened criminals tremble—softened into something almost gentle.
Amon: "…"
One week ago! Just one week ago, our great Lord Heine was still the kind of man who, with a mere faint smile, could make entire boardrooms break into a cold sweat, scrambling to recall if they’d done anything to provoke District 13!
And now—
He’s turned into a poop-shoveler obsessed with raising a pig!
Amon clutched his chest, feeling like his once-dignified boss was lost forever.
And the culprit… was that curly-haired little menace picking his belly button!
"…Amon, have the inspectors submit recent surveillance reports from each district, as well as the latest border war reports and rebel activity updates."
"Huh? Oh! Understood!"
As Amon snapped back to reality and left to carry out his orders, Joey, still lazing on the bed, idly flipped onto his stomach, gazing at the sky outside the high-rise window.
He complained to the System, “With life this peaceful, the only way to raise favorability is through prolonged emotional attachment. If only some major event happened…”
Like in some spy thriller—an enemy agent sneaks into District 13, working with insiders to launch a surprise attack on Garius. But their assassination attempt fails, so they take me hostage instead, or something.
Hahahaha.
But that’s just a fantasy. I mean, what are the chances of something like that actually hap—
Before he could finish the thought, the clear blue sky suddenly wavered, distorting like heat waves rising from sun-scorched pavement. In the blink of an eye, the deep blue shifted to pink, then orange, then red.
—The sky ignited.
The heart of District 13, the Signal Tower, blared a deep, resounding siren.
At the same time, high above the city, the defensive shield system automatically activated. A glowing blue, honeycomb-like barrier spread across the entire district.
"BOOM!!"
A thunderous explosion shook the air.
Joey’s pupils shrank as he watched, dumbfounded, as the source of the red glow was finally revealed—
…A colossal stealth warship.
Ignoring all consequences, it slammed into the Signal Tower’s protective shield, shattering into countless fragments. At the same time, hordes of small fighter ships swarmed out of the wreckage, all zeroing in on one target—his building.
They moved at such terrifying speed that the air itself screeched in protest, leaving blazing white contrails in their wake.
Before Joey could even react, a strong hand yanked him up by the collar.
In that moment of stunned silence, time seemed to slow, like a scene from a movie—
He turned his head just in time to see Garius’ golden hair whip through the air. His emerald-gold eyes burned with fury, fixed unwaveringly on the invaders trespassing on his domain.
The sheer intensity of his gaze made Joey’s retinas sting.
Garius’ jawline tensed. The same elegant fingers that had stroked Joey’s curls countless times smashed through a nearby wall with his bare hand.
Immediately, the building’s alarms shifted into a new, higher-level emergency mode.
And then—
Joey’s poop-shoveler, still holding him in one arm, casually flicked his wrist—
SHWING.
A glowing sword materialized in his grasp.
In that instant, the high and mighty lord, already god-like in stature, transformed into a wrathful archangel of judgment, radiating pure, lethal power.
Joey: …………
WHAT THE F—?!
MEOW MEOW MEOW???
WHERE’S MY EVERYDAY LIFE?! WHAT KIND OF INSANE PLOT TWIST IS THIS?!?!
T/N: Please give support on my ko-fi page, thank you🍊🍊🍊
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