TUMZ Chapter 16

 | Previous | Table of Contents | Next | 

Zhuang Hanxue's train of thought was suddenly interrupted. He instinctively turned his head and saw that the person sitting next to him was none other than one of his old playboy-era drinking buddies—Zhai Ziping.

After years of not seeing each other, they had unexpectedly reunited at a gay bar.

Zhuang Hanxue was stunned. How did he end up running into him here? He had never heard that Zhai Ziping was into men.

Zhai Ziping blurted out, "What are you doing here? You—you mean… you didn’t walk into the wrong place?"

Zhuang Hanxue snapped out of it, thought for a moment, and decided not to lie. "I didn’t walk into the wrong place. I know this is a gay bar. I’m dating a man now."

Zhai Ziping was so shocked that he couldn’t tell if he was more envious or surprised. He eyed Zhuang Hanxue up and down and fired off a string of questions. "I haven’t seen you in years, but you still look so young. Do you come here often? I’ve never run into you before. I didn’t expect you to be into this. What’s your number now?"

Zhuang Hanxue wasn’t really in the mood to chat. He remembered why he had come and, feeling uninterested, said, "Sorry, let’s talk another time. I’m here to pick up my boyfriend."

With that, Zhuang Hanxue finally had a chance to speak to the bartender. "Excuse me, do you know Qiu Zheyan? Where is he?"

The bartender hadn’t paid him much attention at first, but at the mention of Qiu Zheyan’s name, his eyes lit up. He stared at Zhuang Hanxue and said, "Oh, so you’re Qiu Zheyan’s sweetheart?"

Zhuang Hanxue nodded. "Yeah, he called me saying he was drunk and asked me to come get him."

The bartender pointed in a direction. "Over there, in that room. Go find him."

Zhuang Hanxue hadn’t intended to bother with his old friend, but as he got up, he suddenly remembered something. He turned back and said, "Don’t go spreading my personal business around."

Zhai Ziping was momentarily stunned, then nodded. "Alright."

Zhuang Hanxue walked into the room. The place was a mess, with people lounging around in various states of drunkenness. Someone lifted their head from a bottle and asked, "Who are you looking for?"

"I’m looking for Qiu Zheyan," Zhuang Hanxue replied.

The room instantly came alive like a horde of zombies rising from the dead.

"Holy shit, Qiu Zheyan’s boyfriend is here!"

"I gotta see what kind of stunning beauty managed to charm Qiu Zheyan this much."

"Where? Where? Which one of the three at the door is it?"

Qiu Zheyan didn’t look drunk at all. He stood up, walked over, and obediently said, "You’re here."

Zhuang Hanxue couldn’t help but laugh. He found this hilarious—he had never seen Qiu Zheyan drunk before. Was this what he was like when wasted?

Zhuang Hanxue reached out and ruffled his hair, then extended his hand. "Come on, put your hand here."

Like a well-trained puppy, Qiu Zheyan obediently placed his hand in Zhuang Hanxue’s palm.

Oh? He’s really this obedient? Zhuang Hanxue laughed until his stomach hurt and mischievously said, "Say 'woof woof.'"

The room erupted into laughter.

Qiu Zheyan looked confused. "Say what? I didn’t hear you."

Zhuang Hanxue: "Woof woof."

Zhuang Hanxue waited for Qiu Zheyan to imitate a dog's bark, but suddenly, Qiu Zheyan’s aura shifted. It was as if a faint, dark energy was seeping out of him. He tilted his head slightly and smirked. “You do a really good impression of a dog’s bark.”

Zhuang Hanxue: “…”

The onlookers burst into laughter. “Hahahahahaha!”

Zhuang Hanxue laughed along with them, still unsure whether Qiu Zheyan was actually drunk or just playing around. He took his hand and said, “Didn’t you ask me to come pick you up? Are you really drunk? Come on, let’s go home.”

Qiu Zheyan became obedient again and followed him out. When they reached the door, he suddenly turned back and declared, “See? And you guys were badmouthing my wife! My wife treats me so well! I’m going home now—to make a big, chubby baby with my wife!”

The onlookers cheered, “Alright, alright! Go make a big, chubby baby! We’ll be the godfathers!”

Qiu Zheyan called out randomly, “Wife, wife, wife!”

Zhuang Hanxue was nearly driven mad. “Alright, alright! Does it have to be a son? Can’t we have a daughter instead?”

Qiu Zheyan blushed and kissed him shyly. “Okay, a daughter is fine too. Wife, you’re the best.”

Zhuang Hanxue: “Hahahahaha.”

Like walking a dog, Zhuang Hanxue led Qiu Zheyan away.

Zhai Ziping silently watched as Zhuang Hanxue left with a tall, handsome man.

The bartender asked, “What’s wrong? You know Mr. Zhuang?”

Zhai Ziping nodded. “I guess you could say that. But I never expected him to turn gay. You’d never be able to tell.”

The bartender said, “His boyfriend is my friend. They’ve been together for over three months now.”

Zhai Ziping ordered an expensive drink and asked curiously, “How did they end up together? Can you tell me?”

The bartender shrugged. “I don’t know all the details. But they’re living together now. You could say my friend is kind of… supporting him. I heard my friend mention him before—he’s in his thirties but still looks really good. He gives off a nice vibe too.”

Zhai Ziping took a sharp breath. “What? Supporting him? Zhuang Hanxue is being kept? He’s fallen that far?”

The bartender asked casually, “Was he doing well before? What kind of person was he? My friend said he used to have a lot of girlfriends.”

Zhai Ziping nodded. “Yeah, he used to be quite the playboy. I don’t know why, but women were really drawn to him. But a girl once told me it was because Zhuang Hanxue was dumb and easy to hook up with. As long as a woman had some looks, she wouldn’t have much trouble getting with him.”

The bartender laughed. “Oh? That’s possible?”

Thinking of Zhuang Hanxue’s earlier warning and his private affairs, Zhai Ziping gave a vague answer. “Yeah, he’s just a big fool. I wonder if he’s still as gullible now.”

Meanwhile, Zhuang Hanxue had already brought Qiu Zheyan home and given him some hangover medicine.

Qiu Zheyan was truly drunk.

Zhuang Hanxue stepped into the living room to grab some more medicine, but when he returned, Qiu Zheyan was gone. The window was open—on the seventeenth floor! He panicked and searched everywhere, only to find Qiu Zheyan curled up under the table.

Amused and exasperated, he asked, “What are you doing hiding under here?”

Qiu Zheyan: "I'm reflecting on myself."

Zhuang Hanxue: "Come out first. What are you even reflecting on?"

Qiu Zheyan sighed with regret. "I really regret it. I made a mistake. I shouldn’t have called you to the bar. Now everyone knows about my baby. They're all going to try to steal you from me. I’m doomed."

Zhuang Hanxue laughed and coaxed him out from under the table. "Stop regretting it. I don’t even look at them, alright?"

"Besides, I’m just some thirty-something-year-old guy. You’re the only one who likes me. You don’t need to worry about anyone trying to steal me away. I’m so useless—what do you even like about me?"

Qiu Zheyan suddenly sprang up from under the table like a coiled spring, standing tall.

He pulled Zhuang Hanxue into his arms, holding him tightly despite the strong scent of alcohol.

A kiss on the eyelid. "I like this."

A kiss on the nose. "I like this too."

A kiss on the lips. "And I really like this."

Then, like peeling bamboo shoots, he started stripping Zhuang Hanxue piece by piece, kissing him all over as he whispered:

"I like you, Zhuang Hanxue. I really, really like you. Why are you so damn lovable?"

Like a fool.

An utterly smitten fool.

Qiu Zheyan hugged him close. "I’ve said ‘I like you’ so many times. Do you like me a little more now?"

Zhuang Hanxue’s heart softened. He coaxed, "Of course, I do."

Every word Qiu Zheyan said felt like it burned into the softest part of his heart. He had never thought of himself as someone worth loving, yet here he was, making such an outstanding man fall head over heels for him.

It felt like an incredible achievement.

Afterward, Zhuang Hanxue lay in bed, drenched in sweat, sticking to Qiu Zheyan like glue.

He always thought he was the clingy and shameless one, but now he realized that drunk Qiu Zheyan was even worse.

Zhuang Hanxue thought to himself—he should find more chances to get Qiu Zheyan drunk.

So cute.

And it felt so damn good—so good that every cell in his body felt like it was reaching a climax.

Something about tonight felt different, though.

He couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

Sure, sleeping with Qiu Zheyan was always great, but tonight… tonight, he felt something extra, something especially heart-fluttering.

Qiu Zheyan held him close, his head resting against his waist, like a giant puppy.

Zhuang Hanxue stroked his hair and murmured, "Xiao Qiu, I think I’m falling for you more and more. If you had asked me to marry you just now, I might have been dumb enough to say yes."

Qiu Zheyan, half-asleep, nuzzled against his stomach like a fluffy dog. He didn’t hear a word.

Zhuang Hanxue pondered.

Why tonight?

In novels and movies, moments of deep realization are always set in dramatic, romantic scenes.

Why did his special moment happen in such an ordinary, quiet night?

He couldn’t figure it out.

Maybe he’d think about it later.

Weekend

As usual, Zhuang Hanxue went live to stream his gaming session.

Qiu Zheyan originally wanted to take him out, but Zhuang Hanxue gently refused. "I’m a new streamer. I need to focus on my work. Let’s go out another day, okay?"

So instead, they had a date at home. Qiu Zheyan edited his video clips and brought another computer into the study. "Then let’s play together. I’ll join your stream, okay?"

Zhuang Hanxue asked his audience, "Uh… should we do a duo stream today? Press 1 if you’re interested."

The chat was flooded with 1s.

One troll ruined the mood: [Press 1 for what? Are you even a 1?]

Zhuang Hanxue pretended not to see it.

Qiu Zheyan suggested, "Wanna play PUBG? That’s how we first met—random matchmaking."

Zhuang Hanxue muttered, "Say 'chicken' but not 'ba'…" (Note: In Chinese, 'chicken' sounds like 'ji', and 'ba' sounds like… something inappropriate.)

Qiu Zheyan burst out laughing. "No worries. I’ve never made you eat one, have I? You’ve always refused."

Zhuang Hanxue warned him sternly, "If you keep talking like this, I’ll get banned, babe."

Qiu Zheyan chuckled. "Alright, alright, I’ll stop. I’ll mute myself, okay? Since you won’t go out with me, I have no choice but to play games with you at home."

The chat spammed: [Mute what? Keep talking! We want to hear more!]

Zhuang Hanxue felt like he was always slow on the uptake.

They had been together for over four months.

He had already turned down a proposal.

And only now was he truly starting to feel what being in love was like.

Because their relationship was going so well, Qiu Zheyan had been in an exceptionally good mood lately.

His work life had also become more organized.

Whenever he got off work early, he would join Zhuang Hanxue’s stream—publicly funded dating.

Qiu Zheyan’s online alias was Void, the same account he used when he first met Zhuang Hanxue.

He had loved gaming since he was a kid. Even though he didn’t play as much now, his skills were far above Zhuang Hanxue’s—he could easily pass as a pro player.

Zhuang Hanxue first latched onto him because of his gaming skills, begging him to carry him every day.

When they played together, Zhuang Hanxue would scream "Xiao Qiu, save me!" from start to finish.

Qiu Zheyan always indulged him. His own in-game character would be in rags, while Zhuang Hanxue would be decked out in top-tier gear.

The fans found Zhuang Hanxue’s constant panicked squealing annoying.

Not Qiu Zheyan, though. He found it adorable.

Completely deaf and blind to reason.

But Qiu Zheyan didn’t always have time to play with him.

Gaming was fun, but if he played too much, it would cut into their bedroom time.

That was non-negotiable.

So he usually only streamed with Zhuang Hanxue on weekends.

Every time they played together, the stream’s viewership hit a new peak.

The chemistry was gold.

Friday Afternoon

Qiu Zheyan was at work when a news notification popped up on his screen.

[Jiang Ruoyun Talks About Her First Love—Says If She Could Do It Over, She’d Quit Showbiz and Marry Him]

Qiu Zheyan: "…"

He let out a cold chuckle and clicked the article.

After watching the video, he was almost certain she was talking about Zhuang Hanxue.

Jiang Ruoyun was crafty.

She could have brought this up at any time, but she chose now—after reconnecting with Zhuang Hanxue.

Zhuang Hanxue had deleted her, and she had re-added him.

A young, beautiful, rich, and successful actress—why wasn’t she aiming for a billionaire or a top industry elite?

Why the hell was she trying to steal his broke, lazy, useless boyfriend?

It was a Tencent News article.

Qiu Zheyan figured Zhuang Hanxue had probably seen it too.

He was irritated, itching to call and ask about it.

But what if Zhuang Hanxue hadn’t seen it yet?

Just then, as if summoned by fate—

His phone rang.

Caller ID: Lazybug Zhuang.

Qiu Zheyan picked up, only to hear Zhuang Hanxue whimpering, "Xiao Qiu… come home and take me to the hospital… it hurts so much…"

Qiu Zheyan instantly forgot about his anger.

Panic flooded his voice. "What happened? Are you hurt? Don’t move, I’m coming home right now!"

T/N: Please give support on my ko-fi for more updates🍊🍊🍊