TUMZ Chapter 17

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Qiu Zheyan said a word to his secretary. Fortunately, there was no particularly important work today, so he hurried home.

He was puzzled—what could have happened to Zhuang Hanxue at home?

As Qiu Zheyan entered the house, he called out, "Darling, I'm back. Where are you?"

Zhuang Hanxue called out shyly from the bedroom, "I'm in the bedroom."

Qiu Zheyan walked into the bedroom and saw Zhuang Hanxue lying on the bed. He was stunned for a moment, then burst into laughter. "Hahahahahaha!!!"

Zhuang Hanxue looked aggrieved. "You're laughing at me? I'm in so much pain! How can you be like this? You're too much."

Lying on the bed, Zhuang Hanxue looked utterly miserable, his eyes brimming with tears. He was in a pitiful state, his pants hanging halfway down—his private part had gotten caught.

He winced in pain and said, "Stop laughing at me. Take me to the hospital."

Qiu Zheyan held back his laughter. "Alright, alright, I'll take you to the hospital. What happened?"

Zhuang Hanxue was filled with regret. "I was livestreaming, and I rushed to the bathroom… and accidentally got it caught."

Qiu Zheyan couldn't hold it in anymore. "Hahahaha."

Zhuang Hanxue was furious, his face flushed red. He mustered his strength, stood up, and said, "Damn it, I don’t need you to take me. I’ll go by myself."

Qiu Zheyan took a deep breath, cleared his throat, and tried not to laugh. He held onto Zhuang Hanxue. "Okay, okay, I won’t laugh. I really won’t. But come on, I haven’t had any professional training, alright? It’s hard to hold it in. How are you going to go out like this? Let’s sort you out a little, change your pants, and I’ll take you to the hospital, okay?"

Zhuang Hanxue leaned against him.

Qiu Zheyan said, "You injured your private part, not your legs. Can’t you walk?"

Zhuang Hanxue whined, "I can’t walk."

"Alright then." Qiu Zheyan half-carried him, not finding it troublesome at all. On the contrary, he felt rather amused—look at that, Zhuang Hanxue couldn’t even walk without him!

Zhuang Hanxue was utterly dejected. "I’m so unlucky."

Qiu Zheyan still found it hilarious but tried to comfort him while holding back his laughter. "Just be more careful next time when you go to the bathroom, and you won’t get hurt again."

Zhuang Hanxue thought for a moment and then said, "Until I’m healed, we can’t do any 'exercises.' It’s going to be a long wait."

He referred to sex as "exercise"—morning sex was "morning exercises," afternoon sex was "afternoon exercises," and night sex was "night exercises."

Qiu Zheyan's laughter gradually faded.

Damn. He had completely forgotten about that.

Qiu Zheyan frowned and said, "You injured the front, not the back."

Zhuang Hanxue shook his head and righteously declared, "That won’t do! That feels too good, I definitely won’t be able to hold back. If I get hard, what if the wound splits open?"

Qiu Zheyan had no argument against that. His face turned red—Zhuang Hanxue was utterly shameless.

And to top it off, Zhuang Hanxue even looked down on him. "Seriously, why are you so horny? I’ll ask the doctor later, okay?"

At the hospital.

The doctor examined him and said it was just a minor external injury. As long as he applied ointment and avoided infection, he’d be fine. In fact, letting the area breathe a little instead of being stuffed inside pants would help it heal faster.

Although the doctor remained professional, his hesitant expression suggested he had seen right through their relationship. He tactfully said, "I’d recommend avoiding the use of any risky tools in the future. And refrain from bedroom activities for now."

Qiu Zheyan let out a short sigh. Since even the doctor said so, he had no choice but to endure.

Zhuang Hanxue asked, "Doctor, but I’m the bottom. If we only use the back and not the front, is that okay?"

The doctor: "…"

The doctor took a deep breath and smiled awkwardly but politely. "No, it’s not. Wait until it heals. It’s only ten days—can’t you hold out that long?"

As if his gaze was saying, “Is this guy really this debauched?”

When Qiu Zheyan heard Zhuang Hanxue ask that out loud, he knew things were about to go south. Before he even had the chance to feel embarrassed, Zhuang Hanxue had already pointed at him and said, “It’s not about me—I don’t mind! I’m just afraid he won’t be able to hold back!”

Qiu Zheyan: “???”

The doctor turned to look at Qiu Zheyan: My god, this young man looks so refined and serious—turns out he’s actually a pervert?

Qiu Zheyan grabbed Zhuang Hanxue’s hand. “I’m not! I’m not that much of a beast! Stop talking. Let’s just get the medicine and go home.”

Zhuang Hanxue looked at him with disdain. “Xiao Qiu, how can you be so afraid to face the truth? This is completely normal. I was just asking the doctor—what’s there to be embarrassed about? You grew up abroad, you shouldn’t have any ○ education gaps. A harmonious ○ life is important, you know?”

Qiu Zheyan was so mortified he was about to explode. “I’m not embarrassed!”

“I can hold back!”

“I’m serious!”

He was absolutely done with this idiot.

Zhuang Hanxue got into the car and was quiet for a few minutes before suddenly asking, “You really think you can hold out for half a month?”

Qiu Zheyan had just managed to calm down, but now he was flustered again. His expression darkened. “In your eyes, am I really that much of a beast?”

Zhuang Hanxue actually nodded. “Yeah.”

Qiu Zheyan: “……?”

Zhuang Hanxue even seemed a bit envious as he complimented him, “I’m not insulting you. Just count how many times a week you do it. I honestly think you’ve got great kidney health. When I was your age, I didn’t have that kind of energy. And you’re always buying me those weird outfits, making me try all sorts of roleplay. Every time, you get so excited.”

Qiu Zheyan had always thought of himself as a decent and proper person. But now that Zhuang Hanxue was laying everything out one by one, even he had to admit—damn, maybe he was kind of a freak. He was left speechless.

Zhuang Hanxue kept going. “Back when we first got together, it was right during the holidays. Damn, the entire National Day holiday, except for eating, showering, and using the bathroom, you basically didn’t let me off the bed. I remember thinking, No wonder there are jobs offering social insurance and a salary just for playing video games with someone. Turns out ‘game companion’ is just a cover—the real job requirement is being a sex slave.”

Zhuang Hanxue really had no filter. Just as he finished speaking, they hit a red light. Qiu Zheyan covered his mouth, pinched his face, both annoyed and at a loss for words. He leaned in and kissed him. “What sex slave? What kind of nonsense is in that head of yours? When did I ever treat you like a sex slave? I just like you… If you think I’ve gone overboard, I’ll cut back from now on.”

Zhuang Hanxue grinned. “I never told you to stop. Oh? So now you know how to be shy?”

Qiu Zheyan said, “It’s just… whenever I see you, I can’t control myself.”

Gripping the steering wheel, Qiu Zheyan asked, “Do you remember the first time we met? At the park near your old place.”

Zhuang Hanxue replied, “Of course. Wow, back then, when I saw how young and handsome you were, I kept bragging about my own looks. I thought, Shit, I’m gonna get exposed.”

Qiu Zheyan turned to him, his gaze burning. “I had already looked through your album before that. What, did you think I’d randomly meet up with just any guy from online? The moment I got to the park, I saw you right away. I thought you looked even better in person than in your photos. That day, when you invited me to stay over, I barely slept at all. I really wanted to kiss you. I already wanted to sleep with you back then.”

Zhuang Hanxue froze for a moment, wanting to look away but unable to. His heart pounded. No woman had ever said such passionate words to him before—only Qiu Zheyan would.

Suddenly feeling self-conscious, he turned his face away. “See? I told you you’re a pervert…”

The light turned green.

Qiu Zheyan had already argued with him to the point of losing all shame. He said indifferently, “Fine, I’m a pervert. But if a pervert made you feel that good, then you’re not exactly normal either.”

Zhuang Hanxue laughed. “You have a point. We’re actually a great match. A rotten pot finds its rotten lid—anyone else would’ve run away ages ago. They’d probably have called the cops on you too.”

Qiu Zheyan declared, “I wouldn’t like anyone else this much anyway!!”

Zhuang Hanxue giggled and leaned in to kiss him. “I like you too.”

For the next few days, Zhuang Hanxue stayed home to recover, avoiding any strenuous activity. He lounged around the house in loose shorts.

He was just relaxing with nothing to do when he suddenly got a message from an old dog friend he had run into at the bar a few days ago—Zhai Ziping.

Although Zhuang Hanxue always claimed to be shameless, when it came to people who knew all about his wild and reckless past, he still felt a little nervous. If word got out, it wouldn’t be the best kind of story to spread.

Zhuang Hanxue: What do you want?

Zhai Ziping: We’re from the same circle—just keeping in touch, you know?

Zhuang Hanxue felt that there was nothing worth keeping in touch about. Back when he ran away from home, his parents were convinced he wouldn’t be able to handle hardship and would come crawling back in a few days. So they froze all his bank cards and even spread the word, telling people not to help him.

His so-called drinking buddies couldn’t understand why he left. One by one, they acted as his mother’s spokespeople, trying to persuade him:

"It’s just a marriage, right? The girl’s gorgeous, rich, and well-educated. What’s there to be unhappy about?"

"No feelings? So what? You don’t need love to get married. It’s just a certificate. Once you have it, your parents’ money will be yours—such an easy choice."

"You think you’re not ready to be a husband or a father? That you can’t be responsible yet? Once you’re married and the kid’s born, you’ll learn."

"I really don’t get you. You’d rather live like this, struggling outside, than just go back? You had your brother, but he’s gone now. Your sister’s gone too. If you just nod your head, all your family’s wealth will be yours."

"You want to give the company to your sister? Hah! You must be joking. She’s married now, and once a woman marries, she’s as good as spilled water—how could she inherit the family business?"

"It’s just a marriage. It won’t even tie you down. You can still come out and have fun with us after."

At the time, Zhuang Hanxue was genuinely lost and terrified.

Before, it had just been a group of people laughing and playing around. He never thought of himself as a good person, but now he realized—there really weren’t many good people around him either.

Sure, he was a flirt and changed girlfriends often, but marriage was different. Marriage meant responsibility.

During that time, he could barely sleep. He kept having nightmares of living with a faceless woman, arguing every single day, just like his parents—arguing and arguing, never-ending fights.

Would he really end up like that?

Zhuang Hanxue: What circle?

Zhai Ziping: Just the gay scene, y’know… You came out pretty late. If you’d come out earlier, I might’ve actually wanted to date you. If you ever break up with your boyfriend, let me know—I’ll be waiting.

Zhuang Hanxue quickly replied: No way, you’re ugly.

Several minutes later, Zhai Ziping finally responded with a stabbed-in-the-heart meme: Alright, fine.

Zhai Ziping: I get now why you chose to run away with nothing back then. I always wondered—was it really worth cutting ties with your parents just to avoid marriage? But now it all makes sense—you like men. That explains everything.

Zhuang Hanxue: No, that’s not it. I only started dating men four months ago. Back then, I ran away simply because I didn’t want to get married.

Something about Zhai Ziping’s words felt off to Zhuang Hanxue. He vaguely recalled something, so he opened his old friend’s social media and scrolled through his posts.

Oh, right.

Zhai Ziping was already married.

To a woman.

Zhai Ziping: I don’t believe you.

Zhuang Hanxue: Not everyone is like you—liking men while marrying a woman. That’s just messed up. Does your wife know?

Zhai Ziping: Where did you see that?

Zhuang Hanxue: You changed accounts, but the people who attended your wedding posted with your old one.

Zhai Ziping had been hit where it hurt. Furious, he shot back:

"Don’t get too cocky, Zhuang Hanxue."

"How long has it been since you last contacted your parents? Do you really think you can go home whenever you want?"

"Your dad got a mistress. He even had a son with her—kid’s already in his teens."

"If you don’t go back now, all your family’s assets will end up in that bastard’s hands."

"Unless you go back, get married, and have children to inherit the business. If you do that… then how are you any different from me?"

____

Author’s Note:

Xiao Zhuang’s cry of despair: I’M NOT PREGNANT!!

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