TUMZ Chapter 12

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 Qui Zheyan's expression was as dark as it could get.

It was one thing for Zhuang Hanxue to be chatting so enthusiastically with someone else, but was he actually plotting to escape from him? Even borrowing money just to move out?

Reaching the peak of his anger, Qui Zheyan instead became eerily calm.

If he exposed everything right now, it would probably only provoke Zhuang Hanxue and make him speed up his escape plan, right? Zhuang Hanxue was unexpectedly someone who responded better to kindness than to force.

So, he quietly placed the phone back on the bedside table next to Zhuang Hanxue.

Qui Zheyan couldn’t stop thinking about this matter and secretly kept an eye on Zhuang Hanxue’s movements.

He was especially afraid that one day, he would come home and find that Zhuang Hanxue was already gone. As a result, he became even more indulgent toward him.

He let Zhuang Hanxue smoke a few more packs of cigarettes, refilled his alcohol the moment he finished his drink, and whenever he had free time, he would take Zhuang Hanxue out to eat at nice restaurants.

Zhuang Hanxue was delighted.

Besides, things had been particularly hectic recently. Work was overwhelmingly busy—maybe it was Mercury retrograde or something—nothing seemed to be going smoothly.

His senior kept urging him to come over for a meal.

So, he found a time a few days before the New Year and planned to take Zhuang Hanxue along to his senior’s place for dinner.

Zhuang Hanxue looked completely normal on the surface, showing no signs of planning to escape, yet even so, Qui Zheyan still couldn’t feel at ease. Even though they lived together, Zhuang Hanxue still gave him a sense of distance, like he was never truly within his grasp.

When Zhuang Hanxue learned that he was being taken to Qui Zheyan’s senior’s place for dinner, he was quite surprised. “Huh? I’m going too? Don’t you usually never introduce me to your friends?”

Qui Zheyan replied, “Well, I’m taking you to meet my friend now.”

Zhuang Hanxue complained, “You always go out drinking but never take me with you. I really want to go to a bar too.”

Thinking about the last time he had taken Zhuang Hanxue to a bar, Qui Zheyan swore he would never bring him to such an indulgent and chaotic place again. The moment that guy set foot in such a scene, it was as if he had been possessed by some spoiled rich playboy—completely at ease, reveling in the moment. It wasn’t just women; even men would probably be drawn to him.

Qui Zheyan rejected him outright. “Forget it. You completely lose all sense of restraint when you’re having fun.”

Zhuang Hanxue was baffled. “How do I have no sense of restraint?”

Qui Zheyan sourly replied, “I don’t want to give myself any more romantic rivals.”

Zhuang Hanxue was taken aback, then protested with righteous indignation, “I’m seriously speechless. Didn’t you tell me to take a good look at myself last time? And now you’re worried about romantic rivals? I’m a guy in my thirties, way past my prime. I’m just average-looking, unemployed, living off you. Who would even try to steal me from you? You must be joking.”

Qui Zheyan deeply regretted his previous hurtful words. He pulled Zhuang Hanxue into an embrace and kissed him. “Don’t say that. I was just saying things out of anger last time. You’re really cute. Every time you go out, I worry about attracting more competition. You have a lot of good qualities.”

After speaking, he kissed him again. “I’m sorry. Just pretend I never said that before. I was wrong.”

Zhuang Hanxue’s vanity flared up. Ever since he was a child, his parents had always called him a fool—bad at studying, forgetful, lacking perseverance in everything, always running away from difficult things, even a terrible player at video games. He eagerly asked, “What good qualities do I have?”

He finished asking and waited happily for Qui Zheyan to praise him.

Qui Zheyan froze.

Wait a second—what good qualities did Zhuang Hanxue actually have?

Qui Zheyan stared at that dumb face, scrutinizing it from every angle. He was decent-looking, but not exceptionally so. His body, due to a lack of exercise, was far from being fit or strong. He was incredibly lazy, couldn’t cook, and refused to do housework. He loved drinking and smoking, and if Qui Zheyan didn’t keep an eye on him, their home would be an absolute mess. He was also flighty and unreliable—aside from his age being thirty-something, in every other way, he was nothing like a grown man.

Zhuang Hanxue waited for a while. Seeing that Qui Zheyan hadn’t complimented him yet and was even looking perplexed, he felt a sudden sinking feeling. “Well? Say something! What’s wrong?”

Qui Zheyan answered tactfully, “…Being with you makes me feel really happy.”

Zhuang Hanxue scoffed. “Bullshit. You’re always yelling at me.”

Qui Zheyan felt like his brain’s CPU was overheating, but he still couldn’t compute the answer to the question “What are Zhuang Hanxue’s good qualities?” Panicked, he blurted out, “Whenever I’m with you, I just want to sleep with you.”

Zhuang Hanxue: “……”

Zhuang Hanxue asked in disbelief, “Damn! Is that my only good quality?”

Qui Zheyan said, “You caught me off guard with the question. I need some time to think about it. Liking someone is just liking someone, but if you want me to pinpoint exactly what I like about you, I can't explain it clearly. I just know that whenever I see you, I feel really happy.”

Zhuang Hanxue didn’t bother arguing, “Forget it then. I’m going to play games.”

Then, like an eel, he slipped out of Qui Zheyan’s embrace, shuffled away in his slippers, and ran off.

Qui Zheyan watched as he passed by the full-length mirror, seemingly noticing something. He took a few steps back, checked himself out in the mirror, lifted his shirt to take a look, then turned to the side and patted his own butt. As if coming to a realization, he muttered, “My butt does seem kind of perky.”

Qui Zheyan: “…”

That night, before bed, Qui Zheyan caught sight of him again—lying on his stomach on the bed, butt exposed, applying a sheet mask to his rear.

Qui Zheyan’s face darkened. “What the hell are you doing?”

Zhuang Hanxue was lying on his stomach playing a mobile game, his chin resting on the pillow, making his words a little muffled. He mumbled, “Taking care of my only good quality… Don’t you dare take my face mask away! Give it back!”

Qui Zheyan didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

What a complete idiot.

Zhuang Hanxue spent days pondering his good qualities but couldn’t come up with anything.

Maybe he really didn’t have any.

He messaged his little mentor: [I feel like I’m just using my looks to keep Qui around. Other than that, I don’t have any qualities that attract him. But I’m not young anymore—what happens when I get older and uglier? Won’t he just dump me?]

His little mentor replied: [Didn’t you say he proposed, but you refused? Why are you worried about being dumped? Isn’t that exactly what you wanted?]

Zhuang Hanxue: [Not wanting to marry him and him dumping me are two different things.]

After a long pause, his little mentor responded: [You’re kind of scary, you know that? The world of adults is so dirty.]

Then came a suggestion: [Even if you don’t want to get a job, you could still do something to earn money. Not every job requires clocking in and out. You could draw, write novels, stream, make videos—things like that. Why don’t you try streaming? I think it suits you. You play games all day anyway, and you love to talk. Better than doing nothing, right?]

Zhuang Hanxue had an epiphany.

Right! He could stream.

His dog, Doudou, barked loudly at his feet.

It’s not like he had anything better to do at home.

And streaming didn’t take much preparation.

So he just went for it.

But after streaming for a whole day, he only had a few dozen viewers.

Shameless as he was, he didn’t think about working his way up—he immediately wondered if he could find someone to give him a boost.

And didn’t he already have the perfect shortcut?

His little mentor—Chu Jue! A former child star, nationally famous, a professional Go player, and a champion in the National Youth Go Selection Tournament! Over a million followers on Weibo!

So Zhuang Hanxue shamelessly begged the elementary schooler, “Master, stream with me for a few sessions, please! I’m begging you! You’re a merciful little Bodhisattva, saving suffering souls like me. You wouldn’t just sit back and watch me flop, would you? Just an hour a day, okay? Just one hour!”

Luckily, it was winter break, and kind-hearted little Chu Jue couldn’t resist being pleaded with. He agreed to play with him on stream.

To attract viewers, they started with card games.

Chu Jue posted the stream link on Weibo, and since it was his first live stream, two thousand fans flooded in to watch.

When Chu Jue joined the stream, he asked, “What are we playing? Are you planning to play Go with me? Your skills are trash, I don’t want to play against you.”

Zhuang Hanxue said, “I’m not that delusional. Let’s play Dou Dizhu. Have you played before?”

Chu Jue: “Nope, let me check the rules real quick. Give me three minutes.”

Zhuang Hanxue grinned mischievously, “Hehehe, viewers, you’re about to witness Chu Jue’s first defeat. If I don’t win this game, I’ll eat shit.”

Chu Jue chuckled. “Oh, really?”

A few minutes later, the first round ended. Chu Jue asked, “So… when are you eating shit?”

Zhuang Hanxue immediately backed down. “Master, I was wrong. I’m sorry, Master.”

They started another round.

Zhuang Hanxue said, “I underestimated you last time. I wasn’t playing at my full potential. This time, I’ll definitely win! If I lose again, I’ll buy Master a set of exercise workbooks.”

Chu Jue: “Buy what? Say that again.”

Zhuang Hanxue declared loudly, “Exercise workbooks!!”

Chu Jue logged off.

Zhuang Hanxue immediately surrendered, “Master, I was wrong! I’ll buy your cat a cute dress instead, okay?”

Chu Jue logged back in and won another round.

Zhuang Hanxue lost five games in a row. But when he checked the viewer count, it had already exceeded fifty thousand.

And people were sending gifts! It was probably for Chu Jue, but adding everything up, it was about four or five thousand yuan.

He thought, Streaming isn’t that hard after all! It’s so easy!

Zhuang Hanxue, feeling smug, said, “Master, let’s switch games. Let’s play [redacted] next.”

Chu Jue: “Wait a second, I need to read the rules.”

Halfway through the game, Chu Jue suddenly said, “Oh no, my dad just got home. I have to do my homework now. Bye.”

And then he logged off.

Zhuang Hanxue finally won a round. “I won!”

The chat: [This dude has no shame…]

Zhuang Hanxue spent his days playing games with elementary school kids online. He played all kinds of games, and since he wasn’t aiming to be a pro streamer, he just entertained people with his nonstop chatter.

With his clear and pleasant voice, he could even fake a deep “male god” tone.

Thanks to his internet-famous little mentor promoting him, fans started making funny clips and posting them, which brought in more viewers and donations. Within just a week, he met the platform’s requirements to become a signed streamer. He even had a recording team now.

Feeling smug, Zhuang Hanxue planned to wait until he got his first paycheck, then take Qui Zheyan out for a fancy meal.

By then, Qui would definitely praise him! Just imagining it made him excited!

The day they were supposed to have dinner at Qui Zheyan’s senior’s house arrived.

Qui Zheyan led his fool of a boyfriend inside. As long as Zhuang Hanxue kept his mouth shut, he still looked presentable.

At the house, Qui Zheyan noticed that his senior kept glancing at Zhuang Hanxue, seemingly scrutinizing him.

But the man had a wife and kids—surely he wasn’t interested in their lazy bum?

Then the senior asked, “Mr. Zhuang, the moment I saw you, I felt like you looked really familiar… Have you worked in S City before?”

Well, his family’s business was in S City, and he had managed it for a while after his brother ran off.

Zhuang Hanxue remained calm and lied, “Nope.”

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