SD Chapter 43: Can’t live without me

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When he and Jing Ci were watching a movie a few days ago, Tao Mingzhuo thought the hugging and crying couple on TV was too exaggerated, but he didn't expect that the clown would become himself today.

He found that he was suddenly able to empathize with those couples because he really cared about Jing Ci so much.

This is the first person he really likes. Whenever he thinks that the other person doesn't like him as much as he imagined, it feels like a big hole has been opened in his heart.

In fact, it is a grievance.

Thinking about Jing Ci's kindness to her before, she felt sad. Thinking that Jing Ci might not like her that much made her feel scared. Thinking that Jing Ci might just be interested in her delicious food, but now she was filled with Jing Ci's eyes. I feel so wronged.

After a long time, Tao Mingzhuo felt Jing Ci raise his hand, gently wipe his tears, and said: "Don't cry."

Tao Mingzhuo sniffed with tears on his face. At this time, Still arrogant: "I, I didn't cry..."

Jing Ci felt a little flustered.

They were clearly in love, but Tao Mingzhuo cried like a child and asked, "Have you ever liked me?" and then said to himself aggrievedly, "But I've already fallen in love with you."

The big boy who was usually sunny and cheerful and always smiling was crying in such an embarrassing manner in front of her. It was obvious that he was really sad.

From the few words he just said, Jing Ci roughly understood the reason for Tao Mingzhuo's emotional outburst.

Jing Ci was a little confused when he heard this. At first, he thought that Tao Mingzhuo was angry because he learned about his illness and did not confess to him. However, after listening to it, he realized that Tao Mingzhuo's sadness seemed to be due to some reasons. Other reasons.

Jing Ci said to him softly: "It's my fault. I really wanted to hide it from everyone about getting sick."

"But getting sick is one thing, and liking you is another." Jing Ci raised his head Wiping away the remaining tears from the corners of Tao Mingzhuo's eyes, he gently asked, "Did someone tell you something? Why do you think so?"

Tao Mingzhuo said nothing.

He finally controlled his tears for a short time. His nose and eyes were originally red from crying. After hearing Jing Ci say these words, his ears also turned red. Almost no skin above his neck was unscathed.

After a while, Jing Ci heard him whisper: "At that time, you always took the initiative to ask me to have dinner, and invited me to eat every day. You also took the initiative to ask me out after work, and you were so good to me... ...It's so good that it's different from others, of course I will misunderstand it..."

Jing Ci was startled.

Recalling what Tao Mingzhuo said just now, "If I wasn't the one who ate so well in the cafeteria at that time," Jing Ci raised his eyes in surprise: "Do you think I was -"

"Yes." Tao Mingzhuo The sound of Weng interrupted him angrily. He looked into Jing Ci's eyes and simply admitted with abandonment, "I thought you had a crush on me at the time."

As soon as he said this, the emotions he had finally adjusted collapsed again bit by bit. He lowered his head in panic, wiped his eyes, and after a moment choked up and whispered: "You were so kind to me at that time, no one else would be so sentimental..."

Jing Ci breathed out.

At that time, Jing Ci wanted to create more opportunities to get along with Tao Mingzhuo, so he almost used any means to get close to him. Looking back now, looking at his actions at that time from Tao Mingzhuo's perspective did lead to some subtle misunderstandings.

"I do have the disease, but I didn't hide it from you because I didn't believe you."

Jing Ci said, "I didn't tell you at first because I felt that you seemed to be under a lot of pressure when we were eating together. If I told you that I had it, If you are sick, it will be like using my illness to kidnap you. You will feel burdened and may not feel comfortable. "

"After we got together, I thought about confessing to you." Jing Ci. He sighed, "But something like this happened to your sister again. She is very hard and you are also very busy. I don't think now is a good time."

"And I don't think this is a serious illness." He He said, "We didn't know each other well at the time. I don't know if you would tell your friends. I really don't want more people to know about this. This... is that I am quite selfish."

"This is still true . Isn't it a serious illness?" The tip of Tao Mingzhuo's nose was still red. He immediately raised his head in disbelief, "I can't eat!"

Jing Ci: "..."

Jing Ci shook his head and looked at Tao Ming after a moment. With burning eyes, he said firmly but gently: "But no matter what, the two points that I am with you and that I like you have nothing to do with the fact that I need to look at you to eat. I can tell you You promise."

Jing Ci explained clearly, but Tao Mingzhuo didn't speak for a long time.

He was silent for a long time and asked: "So you...can only eat when you see me eating?"

Jing Ci said: "Yes."

Tao Mingzhuo pursed his lips: "You can only eat by looking at me? Others..."

Jing Ci: "Only you."

Tao Mingzhuo pursed his lips.

For a moment, Jing Ci felt that his mood seemed to be a little better, but he soon returned to his gloomy state.

Tao Mingzhuo asked: "At that time, the reason why you agreed to accompany Yang Kening to the comic exhibition was because you could spend more time with me so that you could have more meals?"

Jing Ci hesitated: "Yes."

Tao Mingzhuo sniffed: "Later, you fell on your head at the comic exhibition and invited me to your home to live with you. Was it because of..."

Jing Ci was startled for a moment and said: "There was indeed a part of the reason at that time. That's it, but actually I-"

Tao Mingzhuo interrupted him abruptly. He lowered his eyelids and said sadly, "I know."

"Jing Ci, you think you have feelings for me now... It's just that. Because you can't live without me now." He looked into Jing Ci's eyes and murmured, "But do you really like me? Or are you just looking for some food and want to play with me? What?"

Jing Ci's breath stopped, and he shook his head: "No..."

He saw Tao Mingzhuo lowering his head, his Adam's apple moved, and said, "I want to be quiet for a while."

They were in separate rooms for the night . Sleeping.

Jing Ci knew that Tao Mingzhuo was in a state of confusion and would not listen no matter how he explained it. The best way to deal with it was to calm down for a night.

In fact, it was sometimes difficult for Jing Ci to tell when he fell in love with Tao Mingzhuo.

At first, it was really for the purpose of eating, but later I found him interesting, felt that he was warm and special, and he always gave some unexpected reactions.

In fact, when this relationship just started, Jing Ci had always had a tentative attitude. Tao Mingzhuo could be regarded as his first love in a sense. Before that, he had never dated such a young and innocent boy. , and I didn’t really try to fall in love.

Tao Mingzhuo is really special, like a big, fluffy, warm dog. As long as he sees you from a distance, he will immediately rush over happily to cuddle with you.

Jing Ci thought that she would not fall, and thought that she could always treat this relationship with a rational and sober attitude as before. But it wasn't until today, when he saw Tao Mingzhuo's tears, that Jing Ci realized that his chest was extremely tight and painful. For the first time, he realized that he was flustered, irritable, and wanted to explain himself. What was wrong with being so helpless? A feeling he had never felt before.

Only then did he realize that Tao Mingzhuo had become the most cherished person in his heart without even realizing it.

Looking at the whole thing from Tao Mingzhuo's perspective, Jing Ci felt that his anger and grievance were understandable.

What Jing Ci is worried about now is that Tao Mingzhuo is likely to regard all his previous actions as for the purpose of "wanting to have dinner with me", and he is likely to regard everything between the two as It's all for exploitation, but that's not the case.

Jing Ci felt uneasy and couldn't sleep all night long. He felt that he should make it clear to Tao Mingzhuo as soon as possible.

He barely managed to fall asleep for a while in the early morning. However, when he woke up and walked out of the bedroom, he found that Tao Mingzhuo's suitcase that had been placed at the end of the corridor was missing.

Called, but no one answered.

The last time he was so messed up was the night when Tao Mingzhuo ran away after confessing and didn't come back until late at night with the painting in his arms.

Jing Ci took a deep breath and forced herself to calm down, then picked up the key and prepared to go out immediately to Li Lan's house to ask Tao Xue.

As soon as he opened the door, he saw Tao Mingzhuo standing in front of the door with the suitcase beside him.

He was holding a large bag of vegetables in one hand, and he was raising his other hand to press the door code.

Seeing Jing Ci open the door, Tao Mingzhuo was stunned for a moment and quickly looked away.

He pursed his lips, passed by Jing Ci, walked through the door with his suitcase, and put the bag of vegetables on the kitchen counter.

Tao Mingzhuo remained silent.

Jing Ci saw him walking to the suitcase, squatting down, flattening the suitcase, and then unzipping it.

The suitcase contained not clothes, but a lot of professional kitchenware. There are casseroles, electric egg beaters, various cake and cookie molds, a toaster, a yogurt machine, even a mini oven, and many thick cookbooks.

Tao Mingzhuo didn't want to look at Jing Ci because his eyes were swollen.

Last night, when he returned to the house, he felt more and more uncomfortable. Because he had been worried that Jing Ci might not like him at all, he secretly began to wipe away tears.

But when I recalled everything that had happened between the two of them, and the pot of sweet potatoes cooked by Jing Ci with the packaging, I felt that it was impossible, and I suddenly felt confused.

Tao Mingzhuo heard Jing Ci ask: "Where have you been?"

Tao Mingzhuo originally wanted to establish a firm and cold persona for the whole day and insisted not to talk to Jing Ci.

But he was a very soft-hearted person, and he felt that Jing Ci looked pitiful standing alone. After holding it in for a while, he couldn't hold it in any longer, so he pretended to be very impatient and whispered: "...you here Kitchen utensils are expensive and difficult to use, and the dishes that can be made are very limited, so I went to borrow some from my sister."

Seeing that Jing Ci didn't speak for a long time, his eyes fell on the things in the suitcase at hand. Tao Mingzhuo was stunned for a moment, and seemed to understand what Jing Ci was thinking.

He pursed his lips and said, "I won't move away."

Jing Ci looked at him, her eyelashes trembling.

Tao Mingzhuo was silent for a while and said firmly: "I won't move away because your illness is quite special, so I will still eat with you. Otherwise, you will be blamed for any problems with your body in the future." It's on my head...I can't bear this responsibility."

"It doesn't mean I'm not angry anymore." He lowered his head and added angrily, "It's just because...you can't live without me now. That’s all.”

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