SD Chapter 42: Do you still like me?

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On the afternoon when he left Li Lan's house, Tao Mingzhuo did not go home directly. Instead, he walked aimlessly outside for a long time.

He raised his head and stared at the sun above his head for a while. When his eyes were hot and painful and he could no longer stare at it, he lowered his head dejectedly.

At first, Tao Mingzhuo just felt ridiculous. He even thought Li Lan was joking with him because he had never heard of it and could not understand the existence of this disease at all.

People like Tao Mingzhuo who have eaten every meal seriously since childhood and regard three meals a day as one of the most important things in life cannot understand what it is like to have no appetite for a long time and not be able to eat. What a feeling.

And Jing Ci...why didn't he want to tell himself?

At that time, Li Lan sighed and said, "This is actually the first time I have heard of such an eating disorder, but Xiaoci's secretary said that before I met you, he had actually been unable to eat normally for several months."

"But fortunately he met you later." Li Lan patted Tao Mingzhuo on the shoulder with a smile and said, "Liang Jingjing told me that your child eats very well. Xiao Ci saw it at a glance in your company cafeteria. When it comes to you, he said that as long as he looks at you while eating, he will eat with you."

Tao Mingzhuo blinked blankly.

"You have done him a big favor." Li Lan said, putting the bird's nest into Tao Mingzhuo's hand. Looking at the expression on Tao Mingzhuo's face, she asked in surprise, "Don't you know?"

Tao Mingzhuo took the bird's nest blankly and took a step back.

He shook his head, and after a while he said dryly: "...No, I...I know."

Li Lan didn't think much, said "Oh", and said with a smile: "That's right, that's why I want to thank you. You."

Tao Mingzhuo's mind was blank at this moment.

The whole thing was obviously so ridiculous that it made him want to laugh, but when he recalled every detail of this period, he realized that everything had its traces.

Jing Ci could only eat by looking at herself...

Tao Mingzhuo suddenly realized something again.

So when I was outside Jing Ci's office, I heard him describe his importance to Liang Jingjing, and heard him say that he was his "meaning of life". Could this "meaning" actually refer to something else but something else? Does it mean that he can only eat by looking at his own face?

If we continue to think along this line of thinking, the reason why Jing Ci kept secretly staring at his face in the company cafeteria was not for any other purpose, but because he needed to keep looking at his face in order to eat. Just dropping something off.

Then he took the initiative to invite himself to have dinner with him at noon, and looked at him "affectionately" from time to time during the meal. Was this the purpose behind it?

Tao Mingzhuo's chest felt tight. He took a deep breath, but found that he couldn't breathe no matter what.

In fact, at that time, he felt strange that he and Jing Ci had never had any interaction before, so why did he have such a deep affection for him?

But because there were so many coincidences at that time, once the idea of ​​"Did he have a crush on me" came up, every time Tao Mingzhuo analyzed Jing Ci's every move, he brought his own unique psychological hints. He made one mistake after another.

It turns out that she was willing to eat such spicy barbecue with her, and to smile gently and say it was okay no matter what she did. It was just because Jing Ci at that time felt that as long as she could have a meal with her, no matter what she had to do, The price doesn't matter.

It turns out that Jing Ci... didn't like me at that time. He thought blankly.

There were so many details that seemed very strange to him at the time, and it seemed that they could be explained at once, but Tao Mingzhuo didn't want to think about it anymore.

Because now he suddenly doesn't know how much of Jing Ci's tenderness and kindness to him, and the crooked smile in his eyes every time he looks at him, are sincere, and how much... is out of eating with him. What's the purpose?

He doesn't want to think, or in fact is afraid to think.

Even after returning home, Tao Mingzhuo still cooked a table of dishes like that with some luck and told Jing Ci, "You must finish this bowl of rice before I come down."

But in fact, Tao Mingzhuo did not go upstairs, and stood in the darkness at the corner of the stairs, watching all Jing Ci's movements at that time.

Tao Mingzhuo could clearly see the slightly hesitant look on Jing Ci's face as he stared at the bowl of rice, the pained look on his face as he chewed with a frown, and the way he poured the rice back into the pot and compacted it.

The part of Jing Ci's wrist exposed outside the cuff is slender and thin, and the raised joints can be clearly seen.

Tao Mingzhuo felt his eyes burning.

The blood all over his body turned cold at that moment. It was obviously early summer, but Tao Mingzhuo felt that the breath he exhaled was chilly, and he suddenly lost strength.

First of all, he felt embarrassed because of his previous pretentiousness.

Then came fear. Because Tao Mingzhuo suddenly realized that since everything between the two before was all misunderstandings and Jing Ci had never had a crush on him, then his subsequent proposal to live together and even agree to be with him... would it be possible? Is it also out of some other plans?

However, among these chaotic thoughts, the largest proportion is actually distress and sadness.

Because it was such a serious illness, and Tao Mingzhuo thought they had an extremely close relationship, Jing Ci was still unwilling to confess to him.

Jing Ci felt that something was wrong with Tao Mingzhuo's state these past two days.

He looked the same as usual, but when their eyes met, Tao Mingzhuo would uncomfortably look away and pretend to be busy sketching the sketch in front of him.

Jing Ci felt that Tao Mingzhuo seemed to be hiding from her consciously, but every time he asked, Tao Mingzhuo's answers were "I'm fine" and "I'm very busy."

In the past two days, Jing Ci has been busy with the U country branch, while Tao Mingzhuo has been busy with Tao Xue's affairs and the drawing work for the anniversary celebration. With both of them exhausted, they have never had a good relationship. Take the opportunity to talk.

Fortunately, Tao Xue has finally settled down smoothly. She is planning to file for divorce in court while raising her baby with peace of mind.

In order to express her gratitude to Li Lan and Jing Ci, she asked Tao Mingzhuo to send a message, saying that she would treat them to a meal on the weekend.

Jing Ci felt that Tao Xue and Tao Mingzhuo had very similar personalities. They were both the type of people who would always feel uneasy as long as they owed favors to others, so she did not refuse.

That night Tao Xue ordered a table full of dishes, and Li Lan brought a few bottles of good wine.

Jing Ci and Tao Mingzhuo sat face to face. Li Lan and Tao Xue chatted about the TV series they had recently watched together. Jing Ci listened with a smile, while Tao Mingzhuo was drinking.

Tao Xue knocked Tao Mingzhuo on the head: "We are inviting people to dinner, why are you drinking so much? You will waste everything if such good wine enters your stomach."

Li Lan said boldly: "Oh, it's okay, just drink more. Drink."

Tao Mingzhuo remained silent and just put down his glass.

Tao Xue and Li Lan were chatting lively the whole time. When Jing Ci put down her chopsticks and raised her eyes, she found Tao Mingzhuo looking at her.

The moment he met Jing Ci's gaze, Tao Mingzhuo lowered his head and stuffed a large mouthful of rice into his mouth.

Tao Xue chatted for a while and found that although Tao Mingzhuo was not drinking, he was clearing the dishes on the table without saying a word. She immediately couldn't laugh or cry: "You kid, you're not a drunkard but a foodie, right?"

Jing Ci felt something was wrong.

Although Tao Mingzhuo was eating, and eating a lot, he was eating with emotion.

Instead of happily wolfing down the food like usual, he took one bite and furtively looked up at himself, then continued to lower his head and stuff the food into his mouth without saying a word.

It feels like... I'm eating it for myself.

Ever since the meal the night before yesterday, Jing Ci felt that Tao Mingzhuo was acting strangely. At that time, he thought something had happened to Tao Xue.

But when they met today, Jing Ci found that Tao Xue looked and was in good spirits, and he realized that things might not be as simple as he thought.

In a sense, Tao Xue's affairs were relatively well-arranged. Jing Ci felt that she could try to confess her illness to Tao Mingzhuo tonight.

But after returning home, Tao Mingzhuo didn't give him a chance to speak.

Jing Ci had just finished changing her shoes at the entrance. As soon as she turned around, Tao Mingzhuo held her shoulders and pressed her against the hard wooden cabinet next to her.

Tao Mingzhuo smelled heavily of alcohol, and he kissed her recklessly. He was not as shy as usual, but more like he was venting some emotions, and his movements were even a little rough.

Jing Ci responded with difficulty.

Although Tao Mingzhuo was clumsy and reckless when kissing before, he always carefully took care of Jing Ci's feelings during the process.

Now he was like a vicious little beast venting his emotions unilaterally. This kind of suppression made Jing Ci feel a little strange.

His wrists were tightly restrained. Tao Mingzhuo was getting closer and closer. Jing Ci's lower back hit the edge of the cabinet hard again. He frowned in pain and said subconsciously: "It hurts..."

He screamed This sound was actually very soft, but it made Tao Mingzhuo suddenly regain his consciousness from the chaotic state.

Jing Ci saw him pause blankly and look at her, then let go of his hand in a panic, and subconsciously took a step back.

Tao Mingzhuo drank a lot of wine, and his voice was a little hoarse: "...I'm sorry."

His state seemed very wrong at this moment, and Jing Ci was shocked: "It's okay."

There was still a faint feeling in the lower back. It hurt, but Jing Ci took the initiative to raise her hand without hesitation and touched Tao Mingzhuo's face, wanting to comfort him and kiss him again.

Tao Mingzhuo turned his face away and avoided Jing Ci's hand.

He said: "...Don't continue."

Jing Ci was startled.

"Tao Mingzhuo," Jing Ci raised his face, stroked Tao Mingzhuo's face, and asked softly, "What happened recently? Can you tell me?"

Tao Mingzhuo is a person who does not hide his emotions. .

Usually if he encounters something unsatisfactory at work or with someone else, even if he holds it back for a long time and doesn't want to talk about it, as long as Jing Ci asks him in a gentle voice like now, he can't help but do it all.

But at this moment, Tao Mingzhuo still turned his face and said nothing.

Jing Ci finally realized that Tao Mingzhuo's emotions were directed at him.

Recalling Tao Mingzhuo's abnormal behavior in the past two days and his state at the dinner table just now, Jing Ci suddenly had a not very good guess in his heart.

He took a deep breath and asked in a trembling voice: "Are you..."

Jing Ci didn't finish the second half of what he said because he noticed some warm, moist liquid dripping down bit by bit. Hit his own hand.

He didn't react at first, he just stared blankly at the crystal water drops on the back of his hand, seeing them falling more and more like raindrops.

Jing Ci raised her eyes and realized that Tao Mingzhuo was crying.

The tip of the young man's nose and eyes were extremely red. In order to hold back his tears, he tried his best to open his eyes wide, and his eyes were filled with tears.

He wanted his expression to look fierce, but as soon as he looked at Jing Ci's face, he found that he couldn't look fierce at all. Instead, more and more tears fell uncontrollably.

Tao Mingzhuo cried so hard that he was out of breath. He felt that he was embarrassed and didn't want to look at Jing Ci's face anymore, so he lowered his head.

"Jing Ci." He cried, "You were sick, why didn't you tell me?"

Jing Ci's eyes suddenly opened wide.

Tao Mingzhuo seemed to be trying very hard to hold back his tears.

But he endured it until the end, until his whole face and even his neck turned red. The moment he raised his head and looked at Jing Ci's face, he couldn't help but flatten his mouth, and tears fell again.

"And," he asked intermittently, "if...if the person who ate so deliciously in the cafeteria was not me, and if your illness was cured in the future...would you still like me?"

"Have you ever liked me? Me?" he asked.

"But..." Tao Mingzhuo awkwardly raised his hand to wipe his tears, sobbed a little, and said to himself, "But I already like you."

He lowered his head and cried helplessly . , as if asking Jing Ci, but also as if asking himself: "What should I do now...what should I do now?"

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