BYBOTE Chapter 3: Shit Stick

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In his previous life, if Luo Fei had to name the person he hated most, Xi Yanqing would undoubtedly rank first.

First of all, this man was his love rival, sticking to the man of his dreams like glue every single day! Secondly, this man was his nemesis. And lastly, this man actually followed him here like an unshakable ghost!

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!"

Luo Fei felt someone pressing on his philtrum and suddenly sat up with a jolt. Like a madman, he shouted at the top of his lungs, "I won’t marry!"

A room full of people looked at him, including Xi Yanqing.

Luo Fei gradually realized that his behavior must have seemed completely insane. But he still insisted, “I—I’m not marrying him!”

Luo Tian’s face immediately darkened. “Luo Erbao! Are you trying to anger me to death?!”

Luo Yi figured his father probably had more to say but held back because Xi Yanqing was present. Otherwise, he’d probably add: "If you even dare to think about Zhang Yangfan again, I’ll break your legs!"

Luo Fei glared hatefully at Xi Yanqing. “Hey! Say something!”

Xi Yanqing said, “Uncle Luo, since Erbao is awake, I’ll head back for now. I’ll come visit him another day.”

“That’s fine.” Luo Tian nodded. “You’ve just returned, and there must be plenty to take care of at home. Go ahead and take care of your things.” It was perfect timing—he had something to discuss with his second son!

Xi Yanqing smiled at Luo Fei, then bowed to Luo Tian before turning to leave. Luo Fei got even angrier when he saw Luo Yi eagerly trotting after him to see him off.

Bastard! Xi Yanqing, if you really dare to agree to this marriage, I’ll make your life miserable!

Luo Fei angrily pounded the kang bed. “Dad, no matter what, I’m not marrying him.”

Li Yuehua immediately smacked Luo Fei on the back. “What nonsense are you talking about?! Erbao, if you keep acting like this, your father and I will really be angry! That Xi family boy isn’t married, he’s alive and well, and he still has feelings for you. If you don’t marry him, then who will you marry?”

“I’m telling you, Luo Erbao! If you dare to think about Zhang Yangfan again, I’ll have Xi Yu carry you over there tomorrow!”

“Who’s thinking about that Zhang guy?!” Luo Fei was practically choking on his own words. “This has nothing to do with Zhang Yangfan! I just don’t like Xi Yanqing!”

“It’s not up to you!” Luo Tian, who usually doted on his second son, was clearly enraged this time. “Look at him! You’ve spoiled him rotten!” Luo Tian snapped at his wife. “In all the nearby villages, is there another young man as wild as him?!”

“You act like you didn’t spoil him too!” Li Yuehua glared at her husband. Then she turned to Luo Fei. “Erbao, listen to your mother. I know you and that Xi family boy have been apart for years, and things might feel unfamiliar now. But over time, your feelings will come back. Besides, given your current situation, the whole village knows. Who else would dare come to propose in the future? Do you really want to live alone forever?”

“Exactly!” Luo Fei’s eyes lit up. “I’ll go talk to Xi Yanqing myself tomorrow!”

“Huh?” Li Yuehua was momentarily stunned. “What are you going to say to him?”

“Say… whatever needs to be said.” Luo Fei thought to himself, Xi Yanqing, you can’t be stupid enough to willingly wear a green hat, right? This engagement is definitely getting canceled!

With this thought in mind, plus the fact that he hadn’t slept at all the previous night, Luo Fei actually slept quite soundly that night.

At dawn, when the rooster crowed, he was already half-awake. It was still early in the season, so the sky wasn’t bright yet. But his mother, Li Yuehua, was already in the kitchen preparing breakfast for the family. The pot steamed with mantou, and a pot of rice soup was simmering. This was considered a relatively good breakfast in their household.

(Mantou are soft, steamed buns that originated in China.)

link:https://cookinginchinglish.com/mantou-chinese-steamed-buns/

*link isn't mine, ctto.....

Rice? Forget about it!

Luo Fei didn’t like drinking porridge. He preferred eating rice with dishes, then noodles, and only then would he tolerate porridge with pancakes or other sides. But in this place, he was lucky just to have enough to eat.

“Take some mantou over to the Xi family later,” Li Yuehua stirred the rice soup and said. “Xi Yu just came back, and he probably has a lot to clean up. Cooking might be difficult for him…” She paused. “Erbao, I’m talking to you!”

“Huh? What?”

“I told you to take some mantou to that Xi family boy.”

“Oh no, Mom, I’m not going.” Luo Fei sniffed the mantou’s aroma. “Also, his name is Xi Yanqing.”

“Same difference.” Li Yuehua packed a few mantou into a small basket. “Didn’t you say yesterday that you were going to find him? Just take these with you. Why are you changing your mind now?”

“Think about it, Mom. I just had a big falling out with Zhang Yangfan. Now, Xi Yanqing comes back, and I go running over with mantou in hand? Won’t that make it seem like I’m scared he won’t want me?” Luo Fei didn’t want to carry the label of dying for love, and he certainly didn’t want to be seen as a fence-sitter either.

“People will gossip no matter what you do. What do you care about them?” Li Yuehua stuffed the basket into his arms. “Go.”

“Can’t I at least eat first?” If he left now, by the time he got back, everyone at home would have finished eating. And he planned to talk with Xi Yanqing for a while—after all, since both of them had transmigrated, there were many things he needed to ask.

“Why don’t you just eat with him while you’re there?” Li Yuehua added two more mantou to the basket, along with some pickled vegetables. Ever since Xi Yanqing had come by yesterday, she had developed a good impression of him. When her son had passed out, Xi Yanqing’s concern and anxiety were clearly not an act. That alone made her quite satisfied. She didn’t expect much as a mother—she just wanted her child to find someone who truly cared for him.

Luo Fei thought about it and agreed. He wasn’t someone who cared about public opinion anyway, so why was he hesitating? It was just delivering some mantou!

He ate one first!

He had barely eaten anything while being locked up, and afterward, nothing tasted good, so he hadn’t eaten much. But now, the fresh aroma of steamed mantou actually whetted his appetite.

Luo Fei had a bad habit—he liked peeling the skin off mantou before eating them. Since he was already in a mischievous mood, he peeled all the mantou in the basket on his way there. Not only that, but he also pinched off a piece from each one. By the time he reached the Xi family’s door, the mantou in the basket were all “stripped bare” and looked absolutely pitiful.

Let’s see if you still want to eat them! Luo Fei snickered to himself, then knocked loudly on the door. “Xi Yanqing! Are you up yet?!”

Xi Yanqing had been up for a while. He had stayed up late cleaning the house, so he had only slept for about four hours. The house had been abandoned for too long, and it was damp and cold. Even after burning firewood twice, it still wasn’t warm. So he got up early to start another fire and prepare some breakfast.

At this time of year, the fields were still bare. When he returned, he had bought some pancakes and pickled vegetables from town, planning to get by with those for a few days.

He had been wondering how to find an excuse to visit Luo Fei after breakfast. But to his surprise, Luo Fei came knocking himself.

Xi Yanqing opened the door and saw Luo Fei standing there with a small basket, smirking mischievously. But as soon as he saw Xi Yanqing, he quickly straightened his face into an unwilling expression.

Suppressing a chuckle, Xi Yanqing asked, “So early. What’s up?”

Luo Fei handed over the basket. “I… My mom said you just got back and might have trouble making breakfast, so she sent these for you.”

Xi Yanqing smiled. “Then I should thank Auntie. What did she send?”

Luo Fei lifted the basket. “See for yourself.”

Xi Yanqing had a feeling Luo Fei was up to something. Sure enough, when he lifted the cloth covering the basket, every single mantou inside was missing its skin and had a chunk taken out.

Luo Fei smirked internally but kept a straight face. “Hey, I brought you breakfast first thing in the morning. Aren’t you going to invite me in to sit?”

Xi Yanqing stepped aside. “Come in. But my place is still a mess.”

Luo Fei thought, No matter how much you clean, a dirt house is still a dirt house.

But the moment he stepped inside, his jaw dropped. Damn, the place was way cleaner than he expected!

"You cleaned all this up?" Luo Fei rudely dragged over a wooden chair and sat down, feeling a little surprised.

"Yeah, not finished yet, but this will have to do for now." Xi Yanqing said as he placed a basket of steamed buns on the table, grabbed two pairs of chopsticks, and took out a small bowl of pickled vegetables from the basket. Then, he poured two bowls of freshly boiled water. He clearly saw that the steamed buns were misshapen, but he showed no hint of dislike. Picking one up, he started eating it with plain water.

"…Hey! You're actually eating that?" Luo Fei frowned, clearly unable to handle Xi Yanqing’s calm demeanor. "I grabbed them with my hands already."

"So what? Having food to eat here is already a blessing. You want to throw them away instead?" Xi Yanqing took a bite of the steamed bun, ate a little pickled vegetable, and sipped some hot water. His actions perfectly demonstrated the phrase “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.”

"You’re really something else." Luo Fei looked at the relatively clean bowl and took a sip of water. "Hey, let me ask you, how long have you been here?"

"A week. You?"

"Two days." Luo Fei made a "V" gesture with his fingers. "I’m not used to this at all. No phone, no computer, not even a damn toilet. It’s killing me. I don’t even know if I can go back. If I’m stuck here forever, I’ll go insane."

"Going back is unlikely. Better get used to it." Xi Yanqing picked up another steamed bun.

"Get used to what?! You’re actually adapting to this?!" Luo Fei twisted his clothes in frustration. "Forget that. Listen, can you call off the engagement?"

"No."

"No?!" Luo Fei exploded. "Why the hell not?! Don’t you know I literally just killed myself over a scumbag?! Everyone outside thinks I was madly in love with that Zhang Yangfan. If you don’t call off the engagement, what are you trying to do? Wear a green hat on purpose? Aren’t you afraid of being laughed at?"*

(*T/N: “Wearing a green hat” is a Chinese idiom for being cheated on.)

"Being laughed at is better than starving to death." Xi Yanqing said shamelessly. "There’s nothing to eat in the fields right now. I was hoping my fiancée could bring me a dowry to live on."

"Xi Yanqing! Have some damn shame!" Luo Fei jumped up in anger. "You—you're completely unreasonable! I must be cursed. How could my male god possibly like someone like you?!"

"That’s a question for male god." Xi Yanqing thought of his cousin and sighed unconsciously, reaching for another steamed bun.

Only when he bit down did he realize this bun not only lacked a crust but also had a giant bite mark.

By the time he noticed, he had already taken several bites.

Luo Fei watched his wide-open mouth and felt utterly disgusted.

Spending a lifetime with this guy? Absolutely not!

"You should still call off the engagement." Luo Fei insisted.

"No." Xi Yanqing’s attitude remained firm. "If you have time to argue, you should think about what to do when you need to go to the toilet. I bet you haven’t used the toilet here yet."

"Toilet?" Luo Fei was confused. "I have. What’s the big deal? It’s just a bit dirty, right?"

Okay, maybe that bit was the size of the Ericsson Globe Arena.

"You haven’t gone number two yet, have you?" Xi Yanqing smirked.

"Ugh, gross! You're eating!" Luo Fei protested, but his mind couldn’t help but wander. Then, the more he thought about it, the worse he felt. His face changed from red with anger to green with realization—like a malfunctioning traffic light—until finally, "Ugh—!" He nearly threw up.

He suddenly remembered watching A Step into the Past with his dorm mates. When Xiang Shaolong needed toilet paper, the old man handed him a "tile."

And now, he was actually facing the horror of shit sticks?!

Shit sticks—a fancy name for what was basically a wooden scraper for wiping your ass!

Damn it!

Tl Notes:

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