AHEIAID Chapter 33: Bring Me Two Crates of Cough Syrup
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A frail frame.
A small, delicate build.
Among a sea of towering 2.5-meter giants, there he stood—a lone 1.8-meter-tall human.
And around his neck…
A sign that read:
"DANGEROUS OBJECT – DO NOT TOUCH."
It was like a tiny kitten tossed into a crowd of massive golden retrievers, only to have its owner slap on a ridiculous label:
"SUPER FIERCE!"
"CAN FIGHT TEN OF YOU!"
…Completely false advertising.
Joey slouched, head drooping lifelessly.
With nothing better to do, he wandered aimlessly through the District 13 headquarters.
The office workers who passed by all maintained a strictly professional demeanor—at first.
But the second Joey walked past…
Whispers. Snickers. Stifled laughter.
"This is dangerous, yes. Very dangerous—PFFT—"
"HAHAHAHA—!"
…
Who?!
Who dares laugh at me?!
His self-esteem taking a direct hit, Joey snapped his head around fiercely.
But when he looked, all he saw were the hardworking, straight-faced employees, each diligently focused on their tasks.
They barely acknowledged his presence, instead glancing at him with innocent, confused expressions.
It was as if they were silently asking:
"What? What's wrong?"
Joey: "……"
A tiny question mark popped up over his head.
…Did I mishear?
Was my shame so intense that I only imagined everyone was mocking me?
But then—
The moment he turned back around—
"BWAHAHAHAHA—"
"GOOSE-GOOSE-GOOSE—" (honking laughter)
Joey whipped around again.
The office workers were still working.
Joey faked a turn—a trick move!
They were STILL working.
……
His dark eyes narrowed, suspicious.
He glared at the tall men and women, watching as they busied themselves, casually sipping water, flipping documents—acting like they weren’t paying attention.
After staring for a while, Joey huffed and looked away.
Forget it. I’ll just go explore somewhere else.
BUT THE MOMENT HE STEPPED OUTSIDE—
"HAHAHAHAHA—"
"GOOSE-GOOSE-GOOSE—"
Joey: "…………"
THAT’S IT.
I’VE HAD IT WITH YOU PEOPLE.
His chest heaved violently with anger.
He bared his teeth and spun around, glaring daggers at the entire office.
His furious, shame-filled tears were on the verge of spilling.
"You're all DONE FOR. I'm telling my dad."
"He’s gonna dock ALL your salaries—!"
Joey slammed the door shut and stormed out.
The moment he left, the office erupted into uncontrollable laughter—some spit out their drinks, some slapped their desks, and their cackles were so loud they nearly knocked Joey off his feet through the door.
"It’s mad! So scary—HAHAHA!"
"So this is a human? Damn, I love it. Thank god the boss isn’t around. I almost reached out to ruffle its curly hair! Did you see that sign? Holy shit, I’m dying— ‘I’M VERY FIERCE!’ Awooo~"
"Bro, you’re a damn menace—AHAHAHA—"
Hell is empty. The devils are all here.
The world was vast, yet somehow… there was no place for Joey in it.
He clutched his chest, staggering away with trembling legs, even raising a hand to wipe the corners of his eyes.
The system watched its drama-prone host in silence, then finally spoke up:
"If you hate that sign so much, why not just throw it away?"
Joey hesitated.
"I kind of don’t want to."
【Don’t want to?】
"Mhm." Joey lowered his head and gently brushed the worn-out edges of the cardboard sign, as if cherishing a priceless gift. "Someone gave it to me, after all."
【……】
At that moment, the system suddenly remembered—
This guy used to live alone in a basement, his phone contact list emptier than his pockets.
After a moment of silence, the system softened and encouraged him:
"Don’t worry. You’ll receive many more gifts in the future. There are plenty of people in this world who like you."
Joey grinned, beaming like an idiot.
"Of course! I’m a national treasure, after all."
Even if Garius didn’t want him anymore, he could always get a job at a zoo or a museum—there’d definitely be a free meal waiting for him.
After wandering around a bit, dodging a few sneaky paparazzi trying to snap his picture, Joey suddenly caught a familiar scent.
Fresh, yet not quite floral—clean, but with a sharp undertone.
He sniffed the air, deep in thought.
Where have I smelled this before?
Then—lightbulb moment!
"Oh! This is… medicine?"
Joey had smelled this exact scent every day back when his ribs were broken.
His gaze landed on a nearby room.
"Is someone sick? Is this the medical ward?"
Curious, he sneaked closer.
The room had transparent glass doors, and the moment he peeked in, the medicinal scent intensified—along with the sound of voices drifting out…
"I’m sorry, Joseph. I dragged you into this."
Inside the small, makeshift medical room, Kent, a man from the planet Bilusad, lay on a bed, his body covered in a thick layer of coagulant gel.
Even after painkillers and sedatives, each shallow breath he took still trembled with pain.
"Don’t say that. If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t have been targeted for assassination."
Sitting beside the bed was Prince Joseph—a tall, broad-shouldered man with short golden hair and fierce features.
His sharp eyes and small pupils gave him an inherently intimidating look, and as he furrowed his brows in frustration, he somehow managed to appear even scarier.
"Lord Heine sent people to extract our team. That means someone has their eyes on us. And that someone… might be my brother, Harry."
Kent’s expression darkened.
"Harry is getting more unhinged by the day… He’s dead set on killing you. If not for Lord Heine, I might’ve lost my life… and you might’ve lost yours too."
"He would actually attack you in a hospital?" Kent clutched his chest in disbelief. Then, after a pause, he let out a bitter chuckle.
"Well… I suppose he would."
That beautiful, refined face of Harry’s was nothing but a mask—hiding the soul of a devil.
In contrast, Joseph had a fierce, intimidating exterior, but inside, he was loyal and kind.
Kent couldn’t help but think: The gods must’ve been drunk when they handed out souls. How else do you explain brothers being this different?
"I don’t know why Lord Heine, a famous neutral party, decided to step in and help us." Kent frowned. "But Joseph, this is our chance!"
"You must seize this opportunity—build a connection with him. And if you can’t recruit him, at least don’t make him an enemy."
Despite being injured, Kent was still overthinking everything on Joseph’s behalf, gripping his hand tightly as he spoke.
Jospeh nodded. "Don’t worry. I will make sure to properly thank Lord Heine."
Kent finally relaxed a little, managing a smile.
"Good. Oh, by the way, when they were changing my bandages, I overheard some District Thirteen staff talking…"
"Apparently, Lord Heine is extremely fond of his little human pet. You might be able to use that to your advantage."
Joseph, the big, scary-faced prince, fell into deep thought.
"Use that to my advantage…"
But… how?
More importantly… What do humans even look like again?
There was a live broadcast once, right?
Black, curly hair… Black eyes…
Seemed pretty small…
Probably about—
Out of the corner of his eye, Joseph suddenly caught a glimpse of movement at the door.
His gaze froze.
And there, on the other side of the glass, was a tiny, curious figure peeking in.
Their eyes met.
For a brief moment, the small human seemed stunned.
Then—their expression changed.
They spun around and bolted.
Joseph’s brain: Processing…
Joseph’s brain: Loading…
Joseph’s brain: !!
Joseph’s brain: TARGET LOCATED.
The prince abruptly shot to his feet.
He might be slow to think things through, but his reaction speed was top-tier—so the moment the little human ran, he immediately gave chase.
Kent, still lying on the bed, was completely shocked.
"Joseph?! Where the hell are you going?!"
At first, Joey had no idea why he was running—it was just instinct.
But two steps in, he suddenly remembered something.
Wait.
This is District 13.
This is my dad’s territory.
Why the hell am I running?!
Joey slowed down, chuckling to himself.
"Man, I’m such an idiot."
Just as he was about to change course and explore elsewhere, he suddenly heard footsteps behind him.
Fast. Steady. Powerful.
Joey turned his head—
And almost had a heart attack.
That giant, terrifying man from earlier was chasing after him at full speed!
Joey shuddered violently—his trauma alarms blaring.
"HOLY SHIT!!!"
He screamed and took off.
"SOMEBODY HELP—THEY’RE ATTACKING A PROTECTED SPECIES—"
"GARIUS—AMON—LUCIAN—MOM, SAVE ME—"
Tears streaming, he wailed in despair:
"WHY ARE YOU CHASING ME—"
"I SWEAR I DON’T HAVE ANY COUGH SYRUP!!!"
T/N: Please give support on my ko-fi page, thank you🍊🍊🍊
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