AHEIAID Chapter 3: A Human
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Did they… come from another planet?
Did I not travel back to prehistoric times, but instead to an entirely different world?
Joey hid behind a newly sprouted sapling, his hands and feet icy cold.
The people down the slope hadn’t noticed him. They set up tents right where they stood, activated various high-tech devices, and started cooking while speaking a language he couldn't understand.
A mouthwatering aroma gradually spread through the air. Having survived on tree leaves for the past two days, Joey’s mouth flooded with saliva.
It smells so good…
Gripping the tree trunk, he looked like a pitiful stray cat staring through a window at a fine-dining restaurant, eyes dark with longing. After a moment, he quickly pulled back his head and wiped his mouth.
Crouching on the damp ground, shivering in his wet and sticky pajamas, he held his stomach.
I'm not hungry. I'm not hungry. I'm not hungry.
I'm not craving it. I'm not craving it. I'm not craving it.
Guuuuu~~
Just as Joey was trying to convince himself, his empty stomach let out a pitiful growl.
Joey: “...No.”
Stomach: “Guuuuu~~!!”
Joey: “...I said no.”
Stomach: “Guuuuu~~!!!”
...Fine.
You’re louder. You win.
Desperation gnawed at him as hunger blurred his vision. Joey’s eyes gleamed green as he stared at the steaming pot, making up his mind.
Finally, the night deepened.
The "aliens," who had been gathered and chatting nonstop, finally started packing up in twos and threes, retreating into their tents. Even their lights went out.
For some reason, they hadn't cleaned up their leftover food. Instead, they left the delicious-smelling pot outside, practically inviting nocturnal predators.
But for Joey, this was the luckiest break ever!
He shivered in the biting night air, lips turning purple. His body trembled as he thought: They’d never expect someone to sneak in and steal their food…
With a thief’s caution, he crept forward from behind the sapling, tiptoeing silently through the darkness.
Ten meters…
Five meters…
Three meters…
Closer… even closer… the pot full of delicious food was right there!
Joey, delirious with hunger, had eyes only for the pot. He had no idea that the "aliens," supposedly sleeping inside their tents, were wide awake.
Inside the tents, they crouched together, their floating, winged drones recording everything while they whispered excitedly among themselves and to their live-stream audience.
"We've intentionally removed all the defense systems in this area and placed the bait in a cleared space. Soon, we'll be capturing a primitive creature that approaches. This will allow us to observe its behavior up close while also recording its vital signs."
The livestream chat exploded with excitement.
[OMG, I knew it! This segment always happens! I was so excited I didn’t dare sleep!]
[Last year, the exploration team caught a saber-toothed black panther using bait. My God, that stunning fur, those untamed eyes, those adorable big paw pads— drools]
[Hehe, I hope they catch a gorilla today. I heard gorillas are the closest species to humans.]
[Nonsense! It’s monkeys that are closest to humans!]
[Excuse me?! It’s gorillas, you fool! Gorilla squad, rise up!]
[Shut up, it's monkeys! It’s definitely monkeys!]
[Relax, guys. The exploration will continue for seven days. Since they’re capturing random creatures each night, we might see both a gorilla and a monkey!]
Seeing this message, one of the male crew members, Ir, chuckled in agreement. "Yes, we'll be doing this for the next seven nights, and the species captured will be random. Every night will be a surprise!"
[Wait, but… will the little creatures be harmed?]
Ir’s teammate, Pasha, reassured them with a warm smile: "No need to worry. We won’t harm these soft, delicate primitive creatures. After collecting data, we’ll release them."
The billions of viewers in the livestream sighed in relief: [That’s good, that’s good.]
Just as they spoke, a sensor outside the tent suddenly blinked.
Pasha, Ir, and the others, along with the billions of viewers, froze for a moment before their eyes lit up with excitement.
"It's here! That was fast. Looks like it's a high-intelligence species."
The chat erupted.
[AHHHHH I’M SO EXCITED! I just kicked my husband awake. What is it?!]
[High intelligence? It must be a gorilla!]
[I almost accidentally killed my dad by kicking him. Now he’s beating me up… But anyway, I bet it's a monkey!]
Ir, smiling, said, "Well, let's see for ourselves."
The team exchanged eager glances. Under Pasha’s signal, they carefully and silently unzipped the tent…
What they saw was a small, furry yellow figure crouching over the pot, head buried deep inside, gulping down the bait with loud slurping sounds. Completely unaware of its audience.
With their night vision, the Osman crew could barely make out its features, but judging from its limbs… it seemed to be a monkey?
But…
A yellow monkey?
A mutation?
The livestream chat flooded with question marks.
[Poor little guy, it must’ve fallen into a bucket of mech paint.]
[You idiot, this is a pristine forest! Where the hell would it find a bucket of paint?!]
While the chat erupted in debate, the research team hesitated.
"It’s too small," Pasha decided. "We can’t identify the species yet, and anesthesia might harm it."
To the Osman people, even a seven-meter-long snake was considered a "tiny baby."
"Let's just turn on the lights."
At Pasha’s command, Ir and Elena flipped the switch—
FWOOSH—
A blinding floodlight blasted across the scene.
In its harsh glare, a young black-haired human froze in place, still clutching the pot. His face was smeared with soup, his wide, dazed eyes staring straight at them.
Joey and the alien crew locked gazes.
Joey: "…"
Alien team: "…"
Billions of Ottoman viewers: "…"
Joey stood up awkwardly, hands gripping the pot as broth dripped down his face.
"...Uhm… uhm… I didn't mean to steal your food! I was just… too hungry, and… and the soup smelled so good… I couldn't stop myself… I… I'm really sorry! Please don't kill me—!"
He clutched his clothes and shrank back, nervously glancing at the aliens while his mind screamed for an escape route.
What he didn’t realize was that Pasha, Ir, and the rest of the Ottoman crew were just as dumbfounded.
Their brains had short-circuited.
They had forgotten to blink.
They had forgotten to think.
They had forgotten how to speak.
And in the now silent livestream, billions of Osman viewers were experiencing the same breakdown.
Some had crushed their teacups, burning their hands without noticing.
Some had let their mouths hang open, tea dripping onto their chins.
Some had shot to their feet, knocking over their chairs, gripping their desks in disbelief.
Billions of eyes stared at the fragile, pale young man.
At his soft, jet-black curls.
At his delicate, fair cheeks.
At his trembling, helpless figure.
Until finally, in the stunned silence of the chat, someone typed out three words:
[It’s a human.]
…Yes. A human.
Oh, Holy Ottoman—
IT'S A FREAKING HUMAN!!!
T/N: Please give support on my ko-fi page, thank you🍊🍊🍊
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