AHEIAID Chapter 11: The Dog Son Can Talk Now
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I am Joey.
A few days ago, I transmigrated into a prehistoric primeval forest.
Then, I got captured, became endangered, turned into a national treasure, gained a system, and was adopted by a rich and handsome poop-scooping daddy.
Just when I thought my future days would be filled with acting spoiled, humming little tunes, occasionally selling my cuteness, living in a luxurious garden estate with an entire mountain and lawn, eating breakfasts worth ten thousand bucks, drinking the freshest juices, and soaking in milk baths—embracing my poop-scooper daddy's thigh for a worry-free life as a pampered national treasure…
I got my ribs fractured—three of them, to be exact—by that trash poop-scooper with a single slap. My internal organs got injured.
Lying on the bed, hooked up to an IV drip with my chest and abdomen covered in healing gel, I smiled bitterly.
"Regret. In short, I regret everything... If I am guilty, I hope the law will punish me, not nearly losing my life from the first time I got petted."
Oh, and one more thing.
I have a question for my dear poop-scooper daddy:
Are you freaking trained in Iron Palm techniques?!
Excuse me, young master, are you from Shaolin? Wudang? The leader of the martial arts alliance? Or did I accidentally stumble into the wrong script, and your original body is actually Kryptonian with a ten-ton grip, code name: One Punch Man?!
Who the hell pets their animals with Iron Palm techniques?!
Huh?!
Do you want me dead, you bastard?!
If I had known being your pet was this dangerous, I would have jumped off the rooftop myself! Splattered on the ground! No way in hell would I have stepped foot into your house!
Pfft—bleh!
The system watched as Joey's expression twisted between ferocity and cold sneers, too scared to make a sound, fearing that its crazed host might just devour it alive.
After the doctors dispatched from the biological bureau completed the treatment, the enormous room was left with only Joey, panting heavily, wincing in pain every time he breathed too hard.
Joey gritted his teeth and forced out a kindly smile.
"System~"
Hearing that ominous call, the system felt its circuits glitch out in terror.
【I-I’m here…】
Joey grinned. "Didn’t you say I’d be fine, hmm?"
System: 【…Daddy, I was wrong, thud.】
"Hmph."
Joey’s smile vanished instantly. Holding his left chest, he couldn’t be bothered to argue when the system admitted fault so quickly.
"Where’s that trash poop-scooper?"
【He’s in the reception hall, undergoing questioning and investigation by the Animal Protection Association…
The Ottoman Empire doesn’t have a single alien doctor experienced in treating humans, so they had to call in the animal association for help. The doctors came, but… an endangered creature suffering broken bones on the first day of adoption… poop-scooper daddy is having a hard time explaining himself.】
Joey widened his eyes. "Serves him right! He totally deserves it, got that?"
The system quickly responded: 【Yes, yes, absolutely.】
Joey pouted so hard he could tie a donkey to it.
System: 【But… speaking of which, the people from the Animal Protection Association are incredibly stubborn. The bigger the figure they face, the more aggressive and annoying they get. There’s even a chance they’ll file a lawsuit against your poop-scooper daddy and revoke his ownership of the human.
So, if you go downstairs and put on a little act right now… you might be able to gain some favorability points…】
The system hesitated, eyeing Joey while trying to coax him.
【Right?】
Joey: “I’m not going.”
System: 【Think about the bigger picture, Host.】
Joey: “I don’t care! I’m still not going!”
Plead for that trash poop-scooper? Did his three broken ribs get a say in this?
They said, Dream on! Not happening!
The system rubbed its hands anxiously, not knowing what to do.
According to its calculations, being adopted by Garius Heine was still much better than ending up in the hands of the biological bureau or someone else. At least Joey wouldn’t be experimented on, nor would he lose his "human rights" and completely become a living fossil.
To fulfill its assistance mission, the system went on and on, talking Joey’s ear off. As Joey lay in bed listening to its endless chatter, his expression wavered slightly. Seeing this, the system quickly fanned the flames.
【Think about the garden with the vast grasslands, the 100-square-meter bed, the handsome male attendants, the life of luxury and indulgence, and… your poop-scooper daddy’s divine beauty… Tsk tsk, Host, aren’t you even a little tempted?】
The system chuckled.
As a certified face con, an image of a Nordic god-like, stunningly handsome man flashed through Joey’s mind. He wiped the corner of his mouth expressionlessly. “I’m not tempted.”
System: 【Really?】
“F—cough, really.”
With Garius’ strength, even if they somehow ended up in bed one day, Joey feared the guy would get too excited and either kiss him to death or straight-up blast him against the wall, leaving him stuck there like a permanent decoration.
Craving someone’s body was one thing; valuing one’s life was another.
Seeing that Joey remained unmoved, the system started panicking.
Unexpectedly, Joey still ended up getting out of bed begrudgingly.
“I’ll go.”
Hearing the system’s excited cheers in his mind, Joey warned it, “But! It’s not for any other reason. It’s just that I eat his food and use his things… And he didn’t do it on purpose…”
Calling it kindness felt a little self-congratulatory.
But if this accident really caused trouble for Garius, Joey’s soft tofu heart couldn’t help but feel a little guilty.
System: 【Hehe, got it, got it. Now hurry up, Host!】
The system didn’t care about the reason—completing the mission was all that mattered!
"Year 762 of the Morning Star Era, May—an exploration team discovered the last remaining human on Origin Planet, Earth.
On May 16 of the same year, you used your Prosecutor District 13 privileges to temporarily place the human under protection in the 13th District.
On June 3, you submitted proof of the human’s voluntary ownership recognition. With an 18 to 10 vote, the Council approved it, granting you ownership of the human.
And then—"
A man with neatly slicked-back short blond hair, sharp features, and pointed elf-like ears sat with his legs crossed, wearing a dark brown uniform of the Animal Protection Association. As he spoke, he tapped his pen against a digital tablet, pausing now and then to take notes.
He stared directly at the high-ranking man before him, his expression like that of a hyena who had caught a weakened lion. His lips curled into a sly, annoying smirk as he continued:
"The next day, you contacted Director Leff of the Biological Bureau to treat the human.
Tsk, tsk, tsk… Lord Garius Heine, do you have any explanation for your abuse of a human being?"
He arched his brow mockingly.
Sitting on a spacious sofa with his legs crossed, Garius casually accepted a cup of tea from his butler, sipping it leisurely.
Sunlight streamed through the floor-to-ceiling windows, illuminating the exquisite mural behind him. Despite the investigator’s aggressive questioning, the golden-haired man showed no trace of nervousness.
The sunlight reflected off his golden eyelashes and sculpted features, making his hair shimmer like liquid gold. He didn’t look like someone facing an interrogation but rather like a nobleman enjoying a fine new tea blend.
This irritated the investigator, whose smirk faltered as he internally cursed the damn privilege of the aristocracy.
"A correction."
A calm voice broke the tension.
The investigator snapped back to attention, gripping his pen tightly. “What?”
"I said, a correction."
Garius half-lowered his eyelids, his deep gold-green slit pupils peeking through.
"It was affection, not abuse."
"…Oh? So ‘affection’ includes breaking three ribs, dislocating an arm, and damaging internal organs? Don’t be ridiculous!"
The investigator slammed his palm on the table, causing the tea set to clatter. He glared at Garius furiously.
"We will file a complaint against you, Garius Heine! You sadistic, rare-species-abusing aristocrat! The Animal Protection Association will expose your crimes and take you to court to revoke your ownership of the human! Humans should belong to the Empire, not be a private possession of the Heine family—"
Lucian, the butler, sighed as he looked at the tea set on the table.
Garius glanced at him sideways.
Both men promptly ignored their guest.
"Don’t worry, Lucian."
"I know, Master. I was just mourning that tea set. If I had known, I would’ve used a lower-grade one to entertain such a crude guest."
Worried about his master being taken to court?
Oh, please.
Even in ten years, they wouldn’t have the power to do so.
He had no idea why his master was even entertaining this farce. It would be more practical to just calculate how much the fine for "abusing a human" would be—and whether they’d secretly refund it later.
The old butler sighed in his heart.
Garius, noticing his thoughts, smirked faintly.
Meanwhile, the enraged investigator launched into another round of threats.
Just then, an anxious knock sounded at the door. After receiving permission, a servant hurried in, whispered something to the butler, and gestured toward the entrance.
Lucian followed the servant’s gaze.
Garius and the investigator also looked toward the door.
And the moment they did, their expressions simultaneously turned to astonishment.
At the entrance, a small, fluffy, curly-haired black head peeked out, clutching the doorframe nervously while observing the room’s occupants.
Unlike the Ottoman people, its pair of dark, glossy eyes were uniquely striking.
It scanned the room quickly and, upon spotting the person it was looking for, its eyes visibly lit up!
Clutching its chest, huffing and sweating profusely, it hobbled toward Garius with great effort.
"…" Garius paused, his brows furrowing. He immediately put down his teacup, got up, and bent down with open arms, ready to pick up the little creature.
He had underestimated the fragility of humans and had unintentionally injured the tiny thing.
He couldn’t deny that, as a first-time pet owner, he felt a slight twinge of guilt.
He had avoided staying by the little one’s side, choosing instead to deal with the Association, fearing it would wake up, see him, and be frightened.
But he hadn’t expected…
Thump!
The soft, medicine-scented little creature threw itself into his arms like a lost puppy searching for its mother.
The tiny, fluffy head burrowed into Garius’ neck.
Barefoot, it clambered up his lap, snuggling deep into his embrace with little whimpering sounds.
In that instant, something in Garius' chest softened in a way that even he found unbelievable.
Just as he was about to say, It’s alright now, a voice—previously only capable of incomprehensible babbling—muffled against his neck, suddenly forced out a name.
"Ga… Ga…"
"Ga… um…"
"Garius!"
"……………………"
The ever-calm, sharp-eyed man widened his golden-green pupils in shock.
And the others?
Their jaws dropped straight to the floor.
Holy sh—
Am I dreaming?
Did… did the human just freaking TALK?!
T/N: Please give support on my ko-fi page, thank you🍊🍊🍊
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