AHEIAID Chapter 1: Being an Author is a High-Risk Job
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My name is Joey.
A bald and broke little writer.
I know this is a cliché way to start, but I still have to say it…
I’ve transmigrated.
Sure, I always knew that writing was a profession that led to early baldness, but making people transmigrate too? That’s just ridiculous!
One second, I was grinding away at my word count, trying to hit ten thousand words a day for the rankings. The next second, I yawned, and boom—I found myself in a completely different place.
Where, you ask?
Come, camera operator, pan over to this godforsaken jungle—
Towering trees block out the sky, their lush green leaves greedily soaking in the sunlight and rain.
They are terrifyingly tall. Even without considering their lifespan, any modern person would guess they’ve been growing for hundreds of years to reach such heights.
And those plants that rely on the forest to thrive? They’re just as massive.
It’s like a witch cast a spell on them.
Even the grass here grows taller than a person.
And the animals? They seem to have eaten some kind of growth-enhancing fertilizer.
A gray-furred rabbit with long, tough fur and sharp fangs presses a still-gasping frog under one paw, tearing into it hungrily. Its small, pointed ears are perked up, and its blood-red eyes remain wary of any lurking predators in the jungle.
Above it, a black-and-white spotted giant mosquito—about half a meter long, the size of an Australian rock lobster—hovers, drawn by the scent of blood. Its wings buzz like a helicopter, and its compound eyes reflect a sea of green.
Suddenly!
A dramatic shift occurs.
From the trunk of a tree nearest the long-haired rabbit, a massive snake—its color almost blending perfectly with the bark—suddenly lunges, fangs bared.
With a sharp hiss, it sinks its venomous fangs into the rabbit’s neck.
The rabbit shrieks in agony, struggling to kick free. But before it can, the thick and sinuous body of the snake uncoils from the tree and swiftly constricts around it.
The predator and prey wrestle in the underbrush, flattening large patches of grass in their struggle.
Within mere seconds, it’s over.
The rabbit’s bones shatter under the immense pressure, its fur disheveled, blood seeping from its mouth and nose. It twitches one last time before falling still.
Confirming that its prey is no longer warm or breathing, the six-meter-long snake lazily releases its grip, opens its jaws wide, and swallows its prize whole…
Of course, I am not that rabbit. Otherwise, this story’s protagonist wouldn’t have survived past the first three chapters.
And I haven’t turned into the snake either—otherwise, I’d have lost all my readers already (just saying).
As the enormous serpent slithers through the dense grass, its scales scraping together in an eerie symphony, a small tree growing beside a larger one trembles ever so slightly.
Only when the rustling sound of the snake’s departure fades into the distance does the ‘small creature’ holding its breath finally exhale—very, very slowly.
Sweat soaks through the pale yellow coral fleece SpongeBob SquarePants pajamas.
Joey’s pale, trembling fingers feel frozen, taking a long moment to regain mobility.
…I’m not dead…
Holy crap, I’m actually not dead?!
Only after the fear recedes and his body stops shaking does he gradually loosen his curled-up knees. Dragging his duck-shaped slippers closer, he forces himself into a crouch, clutching a leaf and tearing off a small piece to stuff into his mouth.
Joey has no idea why he suddenly ended up here or why such impossible things are happening to him.
But…
Sucking the bitter green sap from the leaf’s edge, trying to ignore the awful taste, he barely staves off his hunger and thirst. Listening to the distant cries of dangerous beasts, he feels the despair building inside him.
“This kind of prehistoric survival-style transmigration—without a system or anything—just doesn’t make sense at all!”
“Did I really transmigrate just to be food for these creatures?!”
…
Meanwhile, a spaceship emerges from a long-range warp and descends onto the land.
As soon as it lands, a team disembarks in an orderly fashion, skillfully unpacking their equipment.
Their bodies are wrapped in tight-fitting suits made from a thin but special material, shielding them from the planet’s intense ultraviolet radiation.
Their streamlined helmets filter out airborne fungal spores and toxic gases.
As a silver suitcase opens and small floating cameras rise into the air, the team exchanges glances and makes a start signal, running system checks.
“Ir, report on equipment status.”
“Yes, Captain.
Light armor suits: all six activated, normal.
Floating camera systems: normal.
Live broadcast signal linked to the main ship: normal.
Everything is functioning as expected, Captain.”
“Good.” A slender, beautiful female captain nods. “Ilena, report on the survival conditions of our origin planet, Earth.”
“Yes, Captain.”
A second female officer raises a scanning device, waits three seconds for the results, and reports, “Everything is stable, Captain.”
“Excellent.” Captain Pasha smiles. “Let’s begin.”
“Understood!”
The other team members nod excitedly and activate their broadcasting systems.
As they watch the number of live viewers skyrocket, Pasha takes a steady breath, trying to keep her voice professional and composed:
“Coordinates: N9C20, Star Marker: R7. Origin Planet: Earth.
Date: Morning Star Year 762, May 13, 13:21:17.
Welcome to the 21st episode of the ‘Prehistoric Origin Planet Earth Exploration Log.’
Citizens of the Ottoman Empire, I am Pasha, Captain of the Bioresearch Association’s expedition team.
The Origin Planet: Earth.
It is where our Ottoman bloodline began.
It is the mother of our people, the ancestral home of our forebears—the ‘humans’—and the place where our souls shall return after death.
And the landscape you are now witnessing is the unexplored primordial forest of our Origin Planet, Earth.
Tigers, leopards, giant snakes, rabbits, gorillas… Here, we will encounter countless ancient species.
Together, we will witness the roots of human civilization—the awe-inspiring origins of our kind.”
As Pasha’s voice slows, carrying a reverent tone, the floating camera ascends, revealing a small yet breathtaking glimpse of this planet, teeming with life.
The audience, now in the billions, erupts in emotional excitement, filling the live chat with endless messages.
【It’s here! The Empire has resumed its Origin Planet exploration broadcast!】
【This… This is Earth? The home of our ancestors? The resting place of our souls?】
【I don’t know why, but I feel like crying…】
【Me too… Oh, god, I can hear the call of our ancient motherland. Thank you, Empire!】
【Thank you, Empire!】
【Thank you, Empire!】
【Thank you…】
A flood of gratitude-filled messages nearly obscures the screen before someone suddenly asks:
【Do you think there might still be prehistoric humans living here? Like in that ‘Return to Prehistory’ movie?】
【Bro, you’re dreaming in broad daylight.】
【Yeah… Humanity didn’t even leave fossils behind…】
【Exactly! Humans have been extinct for over a hundred million years. You must’ve missed the past twenty seasons of this show—it airs nationally every time.】
Pasha chuckles when she sees the comment.
She responds, “I understand everyone’s hopes, but an extinct species from a hundred million years ago won’t reappear.
Humans are long gone. We Ottomans are now the closest living species to them.
However, we’ll be venturing deeper into this forest, bringing you face-to-face with countless new and ancient species.”
Her words prompt another wave of laughter in the live chat, playfully teasing the hopeful commenter.
And as Pasha and her team carefully venture into the dense forest, the audience quickly shifts their excitement back to the wonders unfolding before them.
Meanwhile, just twenty kilometers away…
T/N: Please give support on my ko-fi page, thank you🍊🍊🍊
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