ATLT Chapter 5

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(13)

Dinner was ready by the time Zhāng Língruì returned home. Seeing Chu Yi, he was even more excited than seeing his own brother. He rushed over and hugged him. "Bro! I smelled something delicious! Did you cook?"


Zhāng Línghào tapped his head with chopsticks. "Your brother is right here."


Zhāng Língruì grinned sheepishly. "Yi-ge is my brother too!"


Zhāng Línghào smirked. "Did you ask him if he’s willing to have a lazy, food-loving little brother like you?"


Zhāng Língruì stuck out his tongue and ran off to wash his hands. Meanwhile, Chu Yi carried the dishes to the table, smiling. "You’re not much better than him, you know."


Zhāng Línghào refused to accept that. "Didn’t I help you wash the vegetables? Didn’t I help you set the table? Didn’t I help you scoop the rice?"


Chu Yi humored him. "Yes, yes, you’re the best. Now go get the chopsticks and sit down to eat. I’m starving."


By May, the southern city was already hot and humid. Chu Yi had made spicy diced chicken, which made Zhāng Língruì sweat and stick out his tongue. Zhāng Línghào loved spicy food, but even he was sweating as he ate—yet the more he sweated, the more he wanted to eat.


Zhāng Língruì pleaded, "Bro, can we turn on the air conditioner?"


Zhāng Línghào said, "Go ahead."


This old house had belonged to their grandparents, who disliked air conditioning. Only the living room had a standing unit, while the bedrooms had only electric fans. Zhāng Línghào worried about the summer heat but, looking at his financial situation, decided to save money. There were too many expenses to worry about—buying air conditioners would have to wait.


If it got too hot, he’d just drag Zhāng Língruì’s bed into the living room and sleep on the floor himself.


After dinner, Zhāng Língruì washed the dishes, Zhāng Línghào wiped the table, and then Zhāng Língruì sat at the dining table under the air conditioner to do his homework.


Not wanting to disturb him, Zhāng Línghào pulled Chu Yi into his bedroom and closed the door.


The small secondary bedroom was only about ten square meters. With a double bed, a nightstand, and a wardrobe, there wasn’t room for much else. The two of them sat on the bed, talking quietly.


Zhāng Línghào asked, "Have you found a job yet?"


Chu Yi shook his head. "No. I don’t know what I can do."


Zhāng Línghào asked, "Do you still have money? If not, I can lend you some. Don’t be fooled by how things are now—I still have a few hundred thousand left."


Chu Yi shook his head again. "No need. I have savings too. You should be more frugal—your brother’s schooling must be expensive, right?"


At this moment, facing Chu Yi, Zhang Linghao couldn’t be bothered to hide anything anymore. After all, the other party was even poorer and couldn’t help him. Telling the truth might actually win him some sympathy. He admitted, “The old man had too smooth of a career all these years, never considering what would happen if things went south. They came knocking in the middle of the night to confiscate our property—I only had time to hide a watch and sell it for money. Ling Rui is about to enter his final year of high school. Transferring schools now wouldn’t just be difficult but would also affect his grades. Luckily, I hid that watch—it was enough to cover his tuition and miscellaneous expenses. They also have a summer camp in Europe for half a month. The registration fee was already paid, so I just need to give him a few thousand more for pocket money. If he spends carefully, it should be enough.”


Chu Yi responded with a quiet "Mm" and nodded slightly. He didn't know what else to say.


He only had a few thousand left in his hands—barely enough to cover Zhang Lingrui’s pocket money for a European summer camp. A starving camel was still bigger than a horse. And here he had been foolishly worrying whether Zhang Linghao had quit smoking because he couldn’t afford it, even stupidly buying him a pack of cigarettes that cost just over ten yuan.


The two of them had never been particularly close, and now, suddenly, they ran out of things to say. The small bedroom, with its closed door, felt even more airless. In the humid, stifling air, Chu Yi felt like the cologne he had sprayed before leaving the house had long since evaporated, replaced by the smell of sweat.


In this situation, any sensible guest would take their leave. The two had already agreed to go to the seafood market together another day—there was no need to worry about not seeing each other again. But for some reason, Chu Yi didn’t want to go just yet. He felt like he hadn’t spent enough time in this shabby little apartment.


Suddenly, Zhang Linghao stood up, walked into the living room, and came back with the pack of cigarettes Chu Yi had bought for him. He took one out, lit it, then handed the pack to Chu Yi. “Want one?”


Chu Yi smiled and pushed it back. “It’s the only pack you’ve got. Save it.”


Zhang Linghao took a few puffs, then held out the half-smoked cigarette to Chu Yi. “Then let’s share one.”


Chu Yi took it without protest. The two of them passed it back and forth, taking turns until they finished the thin cigarette like they were smoking dried leaves.


Then, almost instinctively, as if it would be unnatural not to take this next step, they embraced and fell onto the bed together.


(14)

That time when Zhang Linghao showed up at the entrance of Chu Yi’s workplace, high-profile as ever—driving a sports car and carrying a bouquet of flowers—Chu Yi saw him from afar and, for some reason, felt that he resembled a delicate, expensive violin.


A violin was a high-class instrument with a steep learning curve. You knew that in the hands of the right person, it could produce beautiful, melodious music. But you yourself didn’t know how to play, and it was expensive—so expensive that you wouldn’t even dare to touch it.


In your imagination, even if you somehow managed to coax a sound out of it, it would probably be harsh, discordant, and completely out of tune.


But at that moment, in Chu Yi’s eyes, Zhang Linghao had transformed into an accordion.


Even if you didn’t know how to play an accordion, all you had to do was pull the bellows and press any button, and it would produce a light, refreshing melody that soothed the soul.


If you had a bit of musical sense and were smart enough, you could figure out how to play a simple chord after just a bit of experimenting.


Chu Yi had loved music as a child. He paid attention in every music class at school. His teacher had once said that while the accordion seemed easy to learn, mastering it to a professional level still required dedication and practice. Playing a melody with just one hand was simple enough. Playing a full song wasn’t too hard either. But if you wanted to add in the bass chords with your other hand, you needed coordination between both hands.


It was just like this man before him.


Enjoying the moment with him seemed easy.


But how could he truly enter his heart?


(15)

Zhang Linghao held his breath, suppressing any sound, afraid that his younger brother in the living room might hear.


Chu Yi knew he was holding back—his hands clung to Chu Yi’s back so tightly that his nails were digging into his skin, almost painfully.


Chu Yi freed one hand, reached into his pants pocket, and pulled out his phone. He opened a music app, randomly played a song from the homepage, and turned the volume to the max. Then, leaning close to Zhang Linghao’s ear, he whispered, “You can make a little noise now.”


The song that started playing just happened to be an old favorite of Zhang Linghao’s from his time studying in the UK—Adele’s Skyfall.


This is the end


The end had come.


Hold your breath and count to ten


Hold your breath, the ten-second threshold.


Feel the earth move and then


Feel the ground shift beneath you.


Hear my heart burst again


Listen to my heart overflow.


For this is the end


It had all already ended.


I've drowned and dreamt this moment


I drowned in this hazy dream.


So overdue I owe them


For all the wasted years I owe.


Swept away, I'm stolen


Swept away, consumed by the flood.


Let the sky fall


Let the sky fall.


When it crumbles


When it collapses.


We will stand tall


We will stand tall.


Face it all together


Face it all together.


At skyfall


At skyfall.


At skyfall.


As Adele reached the second verse and sang But you'll never have my heart, Zhang Linghao reached his peak.


Chu Yi followed right after.


Zhang Linghao let go of his tight grip on Chu Yi and covered his own eyes.


This song was eerie—its melody so fitting, its lyrics even more so.


"You'll never have my heart."


That line—it felt like Chu Yi was saying it to him.


And like he was saying it to Chu Yi.


The two of them had never truly opened their hearts to each other. After all this time, they still couldn’t read one another.


But maybe that was for the best.


You didn’t have mine, I didn’t have yours. That meant the relationship was equal.


Their souls might be isolated and helpless.


But their bodies fit together seamlessly.


And that was enough to accompany each other through this bleak and difficult time.



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